Corporate Speak

[Radbird]

As of late, the new buzzword I keep hearing is "socialize".

Example: "Have you socialized that idea with them?"

Translation: "Have you told them about this? Do they know it's coming?"

Sometimes I have to go on mute so I can chuckle.

[Michael]

Radbird, can we take this rant off-line?

[letsgocards89]

Work smarter, not harder

I learned that on Duck Tales!

[AdmiralKird]

Work smarter, not harder

I feel the more I try and analyze this, the more stupid I become.

[planet planet]

Work smarter, not harder

I feel the more I try and analyze this, the more stupid I become.

Seriously? That's one of my mantras, but then again I'm in sales so it fits.

[ghostrunner]

Work smarter, not harder

I feel the more I try and analyze this, the more stupid I become.

Seriously? That's one of my mantras, but then again I'm in sales so it fits.

I was thinking it was pretty good as these kinds of phrases go. A lot of bosses are tools since they don't follow this line of thought. Though I'd probably change it to "work smarter, not longer." I remember reading an article once where this CEO said he saw managers make the mistake of rewarding people who worked extra time (because they had to) vs. those who got their work done during normal hours. So it didn't impress him to see someone working late.

[dangerous]

It should be acceptable to reply, "I anti-socialized it to them via text message and email."

[Hungary Jack]

As a grizzled veteran of a top-tier MBA program and some management consulting firms, I can attest to the absurdity of this stuff. It makes me want to denounce my professional background.

My favorite MBA professor was a real down-to-earth guy who could smell BS from a mile away. One day in class, he passes out this computer generated business buzzword gobbledygook he created at some web site. It was nonsense.

He asked us to read it, and then asked the class if they could tell him what it meant. There were several in class who fell for the ruse. They probably went on to become rainmaker partners at some consulting firm.

[AJ]

We Keep Playing Phone Tag! (No, I just seen your name on caller ID and didn't answer, then forwarded my message in the voicemail to make it appear like i called you back)

Happy Monday! (No Monday's are happy unless it's a holiday, why must you say this every week?)

Knock Knock (just because I don't have a door, doesn't mean you have to say this, go away!!!)

Six Sigma, Lean, and Black Belt (New buzzwords for the same thing, trying to make solving problems as complicated as possible so you can have a fancy job title because you are the only one that understands the new lingo, when everyone else picks up the lingo, all of a sudden a new way of solving problems with new lingo comes online)

[TabascoElvis]

Ugh.

Disruptive <anything>

ubiquitous connectivity <work that phrase together with disruptive and see what you get>

transparency <which invariably isn't>