My portable DVD player and a total moron

[TimeForGuinness]

There are only a few ways out of this:

1.) Take one for the team - Call him up and ask him to bring the DVD player over because you want to watch porn with him. Take one for the team and get your DVD player back.
2.) Ignore him - Just walk away for awhile and when he starts to contact you after a few weeks, politely say that you thought he was a jerk because he stole your DVD player and forced you to buy a new one. Watch him come grovelling back with your DVD player plus a few new DVDs as well.
3.) Just buy a new one and tell him to F' off.

[docellis]

There are only a few ways out of this:

1.) Take one for the team - Call him up and ask him to bring the DVD player over because you want to watch porn with him. Take one for the team and get your DVD player back.
2.) Ignore him - Just walk away for awhile and when he starts to contact you after a few weeks, politely say that you thought he was a jerk because he stole your DVD player and forced you to buy a new one. Watch him come grovelling back with your DVD player plus a few new DVDs as well.
3.) Just buy a new one and tell him to F' off.

There is absolutely nothing that could convince me to consider option 1.

[Jocephus]

slash his tires

[TimeForGuinness]

There are only a few ways out of this:

1.) Take one for the team - Call him up and ask him to bring the DVD player over because you want to watch porn with him. Take one for the team and get your DVD player back.
2.) Ignore him - Just walk away for awhile and when he starts to contact you after a few weeks, politely say that you thought he was a jerk because he stole your DVD player and forced you to buy a new one. Watch him come grovelling back with your DVD player plus a few new DVDs as well.
3.) Just buy a new one and tell him to F' off.

There is absolutely nothing that could convince me to consider option 1.

Then I would do a combo of #2 and #3...ignore him...then if he doesn't come crawling back, then just go out and buy a new one.

...but if he had a mohawk, would you consider #1?

[docellis]

...but if he had a mohawk, would you consider #1?

There is nothing, not a single possible thing, he could do. Nothing.

I don't even "hate" him. I just want him to lose my phone number after returning my DVD player.

[TimeForGuinness]

...but if he had a mohawk, would you consider #1?

There is nothing, not a single possible thing, he could do. Nothing.

I don't even "hate" him. I just want him to lose my phone number after returning my DVD player.

I would just kiss that DVD player good-bye...plus, how could you even go back to that DVD player? I think a new DVD player is needed for a fresh start.

[docellis]

Yeah even if he gives it back to me - I am dreading the exchange. No matter how fast I can get the dvd player, roll my window up and drive away - I know he will make things as difficult as possible, even in that (hopefully) under thirty second exchange.

[UK]

End all ties with him, suck it up as a learning experience, and buy a new one.

I assume you don't have anything that might even be a remote possibility of being his?

[Jocephus]

flaming poo-bag his house

but then again, considering how obssessed he is with you, who knows what kind of pleasure he'd get from a flaming bag of feces

[UK]

http://tgiblackfriday.com/Walmart/8-Por ... layer-deal

http://tgiblackfriday.com/Target/RCA-7- ... ayer--deal