Rant/poll: Am I outta line?

[AWvsCBsteeeerike3]

Can they not block him.....seems like a pretty harmless solution....hes not offended and they don't have to get it....

It's not a solution though. He sends all of his emails from the same account, so if I block him, or my fiance blocks him, we won't receive any of the normal emails from him, some of which even include information and family business.

I didn't really mean you. I just meant your mother-in-law and fiancee. Any pertinent info you could forward to them. I don't know. It would avoid him getting angry at them for being soft and they wouldn't be offended by his crude sense of humor. Good luck.

[maddash]

Ok, so since this is a blow out in 'zeus' favor, let's mix it up - let's say this is a grandparent sending the emails out. Do you approach it in the same manner? Obviously there's some protocol that needs to be followed here, and there's the whole issue with respect for your elders and taking their age into consideration. But how much do you let old people get away with simply because they're old? Old folks get away with murder and it's often just written off by the younger crowd. Sometimes it's reasonable, because of diminished mental and social skills, and the things already listed, but sometimes an old person just needs to be called out. Like the racist grandparent. Tothebeach posted something in another thread about how older folks are mostly stuck in their ways and we should just cherish the time we have with them. But often we can't cherish our time with them because of how they act - wouldn't it be better to sometimes treat them as a peer and work out those differences? For example: say you like to have dinner with grandma, grandma insists on driving you, grandma shouldn't be driving... do you just stop going out to dinner with her because you don't want to bring up the subject of her poor driving? Or do you flat out tell your grandma you're not going to let her drive, maybe hurt her feelings, but be able to spend quality time with her?

These are delicate situations, and I love talking about stuff like that.

[Sutter'sBeard]

Old people are retarded. My dad's in his mid 60's and there is only about two places left in town where he will eat because every other place has given him bad service once and he'll never eat there again. One time, when picking up a pizza, the counter guy made fun of our last name (very lightheartedly) and he'll never go to any Pizza Hut again.

[tothebeach08]

Sometimes it's reasonable, because of diminished mental and social skills, and the things already listed, but sometimes an old person just needs to be called out. Like the racist grandparent. Tothebeach posted something in another thread about how older folks are mostly stuck in their ways and we should just cherish the time we have with them. But often we can't cherish our time with them because of how they act - wouldn't it be better to sometimes treat them as a peer and work out those differences? For example: say you like to have dinner with grandma, grandma insists on driving you, grandma shouldn't be driving... do you just stop going out to dinner with her because you don't want to bring up the subject of her poor driving? Or do you flat out tell your grandma you're not going to let her drive, maybe hurt her feelings, but be able to spend quality time with her?

These are delicate situations, and I love talking about stuff like that.

I did say that, it was someone who posted because their Grandpa lived with them and was eating their food and giving the dogs food, etc. I think food and e-mails are different than letting someone who is a danger behind the wheel. You have to out fox the fox. Kind of like the way you can get someone to do what you want, without them even realizing it was your idea. While I think dealing with older people represents "challenges" on many levels, I also know how much I miss my Grandpa every day.

It is delicate, but can be dealt with where everyone walks away happy. This guy was out of line, but once someone has made up their mind to be obstinate (like the Pizza Hut Dad), your better off not letting it get to you. You just have to shake your head and know that someday your kids will be thinking the same things about you that you are thinking right now.

[maddash]

Sometimes it's reasonable, because of diminished mental and social skills, and the things already listed, but sometimes an old person just needs to be called out. Like the racist grandparent. Tothebeach posted something in another thread about how older folks are mostly stuck in their ways and we should just cherish the time we have with them. But often we can't cherish our time with them because of how they act - wouldn't it be better to sometimes treat them as a peer and work out those differences? For example: say you like to have dinner with grandma, grandma insists on driving you, grandma shouldn't be driving... do you just stop going out to dinner with her because you don't want to bring up the subject of her poor driving? Or do you flat out tell your grandma you're not going to let her drive, maybe hurt her feelings, but be able to spend quality time with her?

These are delicate situations, and I love talking about stuff like that.

I did say that, it was someone who posted because their Grandpa lived with them and was eating their food and giving the dogs food, etc. I think food and e-mails are different than letting someone who is a danger behind the wheel. You have to out fox the fox. Kind of like the way you can get someone to do what you want, without them even realizing it was your idea. While I think dealing with older people represents "challenges" on many levels, I also know how much I miss my Grandpa every day.

It is delicate, but can be dealt with where everyone walks away happy. This guy was out of line, but once someone has made up their mind to be obstinate (like the Pizza Hut Dad), your better off not letting it get to you. You just have to shake your head and know that someday your kids will be thinking the same things about you that you are thinking right now.

But why let someone's stubbornness get in the way of a relationship... simply because we insist on treating people differently because of their age? I'm not saying all of those things like age and their standing in the family should be ignored, but they're still people. I guess it boils down to this - how differently should people be treated because of their age? Because, frankly, some of things we do "deal" with older people is extremely patronizing to them, even if we think we're doing the right thing.

[Radbird]

Also, the frontal lobes shrink as people get older, and with that, social inhibitions decline.

This terrifies me. It's probably already happening.

I'm very fortunate to still have both of my parents, although I can see the mental slippage as clearly as the physical decline. Thankfully, neither of them have shown any inclination to go anywhere near a computer (although my mom has one, but it's basically there for the grandkids and so I have a computer connection when I am home).

And I'll add to the zeus landslide here. I hate annoying forwards, even the ones that don't offend.

[tothebeach08]

But why let someone's stubbornness get in the way of a relationship... simply because we insist on treating people differently because of their age? I'm not saying all of those things like age and their standing in the family should be ignored, but they're still people. I guess it boils down to this - how differently should people be treated because of their age? Because, frankly, some of things we do "deal" with older people is extremely patronizing to them, even if we think we're doing the right thing.

I guess we just have to judge each instance as it stands alone. No one wants to patronize or be patronized, but on the other hand we have to have a certain level of respect for our parents/grandparents even as, or maybe especially as, they are aging and slipping. So many things we get stressed about really are so unimportant in the end. I would rather patronize someone than disrespect them, although I guess an argument could be made that patronizing is disrespectful. Hmmm, what do you think?

[AdmiralKird]

Hmmm, what do you think?

I think heyzeus should send out an apology to his fiance and mother-in-law saying he tried to get him to stop, but he's being an old man.

Edit: If it was cold-hearted me I'd just tell him you have to block him because you're tired of seeing all that crap in your box, and if you miss important information just throw the "Thats your problem, not mine" back in his face. It's all fine and dandy that he finds this stuff funny, but he doesn't need to annoy everyone else who finds it unfunny. It's not right for him to be a stubborn old man and expect you to pay attention to him when most of the stuff he sends you is crap, and all it does is cause tension between you and your future wife/in-laws.

[stlouie_lipp]

Old people are retarded. My dad's in his mid 60's and there is only about two places left in town where he will eat because every other place has given him bad service once and he'll never eat there again. One time, when picking up a pizza, the counter guy made fun of our last name (very lightheartedly) and he'll never go to any Pizza Hut again.

I'm like this at 35...maybe that's why my friends joke that I'm really 65.

[JackofDiamonds]

I can't think of the last e-mail I read that was a mass mailing.