A Bag of Dog Poop

[Hungary Jack]

One of our peers among the purportedly more evolved species concluded that it was a sensible idea to pick up their dog's excrement in a plastic grocery bag, which is laudable, but then leave the bag on the sidewalk next to the dumpster 2 buildings down. The latter act is punishable by being stuck in the back of a Gremlin with a shirtless Jeff Samardzija on an 8-hour drive across Iowa.

[G. Keenan]

You have my full agreement on all matters concerning dog poop in the People's Republic of Lakeview. It is my number one peeve. I think I'll join my local council or whatever and try to get an ordinance passed saying that if someone lets their dog poop on the sidewalk I have permission to burn their house down.

[Arthur Dent]

I read an article in the New York Times about dog poop cops. Apparently, this is a real beat. They follow dog walkers around and try to catch them leaving the poop. They even have a profile of the type that doesn't clean up. It's people who look hurried and irritated.

[Hungary Jack]

I read an article in the New York Times about dog poop cops. Apparently, this is a real beat. They follow dog walkers around and try to catch them leaving the poop. They even have a profile of the type that doesn't clean up. It's people who look hurried and irritated.

If I can bust a 15 year-old graffiti artist, perhaps I can expand my deputy responsibilities to keeping the parkway clear of dog doo.

[G. Keenan]

I read an article in the New York Times about dog poop cops. Apparently, this is a real beat. They follow dog walkers around and try to catch them leaving the poop. They even have a profile of the type that doesn't clean up. It's people who look hurried and irritated.

If I can bust a 15 year-old graffiti artist, perhaps I can expand my deputy responsibilities to keeping the parkway clear of dog doo.

You would be my hero.

[Popeye_Card]

I read an article in the New York Times about dog poop cops. Apparently, this is a real beat. They follow dog walkers around and try to catch them leaving the poop. They even have a profile of the type that doesn't clean up. It's people who look hurried and irritated.

Someone talking on their cell phone while walking the dog would be a dead giveaway. One, they're not paying much attention to their dog. Two, they don't have a free hand to scoop poop with.

I bust people in the park all the time for it. I yell at them until they hang up and pick it up.

[Hungary Jack]

I read an article in the New York Times about dog poop cops. Apparently, this is a real beat. They follow dog walkers around and try to catch them leaving the poop. They even have a profile of the type that doesn't clean up. It's people who look hurried and irritated.

Someone talking on their cell phone while walking the dog would be a dead giveaway. One, they're not paying much attention to their dog. Two, they don't have a free hand to scoop poop with.

I bust people in the park all the time for it. I yell at them until they hang up and pick it up.

Are you for hire?

[thrill]

You have my full agreement on all matters concerning dog poop in the People's Republic of Lakeview. It is my number one peeve. I think I'll join my local council or whatever and try to get an ordinance passed saying that if someone lets their dog poop on the sidewalk I have permission to burn their house down.

An eye for and eye would make the whole world blind.

Which is why Geen takes a life for an eye.

[Popeye_Card]

I read an article in the New York Times about dog poop cops. Apparently, this is a real beat. They follow dog walkers around and try to catch them leaving the poop. They even have a profile of the type that doesn't clean up. It's people who look hurried and irritated.

Someone talking on their cell phone while walking the dog would be a dead giveaway. One, they're not paying much attention to their dog. Two, they don't have a free hand to scoop poop with.

I bust people in the park all the time for it. I yell at them until they hang up and pick it up.

Are you for hire?

I can be.

[G. Keenan]

You have my full agreement on all matters concerning dog poop in the People's Republic of Lakeview. It is my number one peeve. I think I'll join my local council or whatever and try to get an ordinance passed saying that if someone lets their dog poop on the sidewalk I have permission to burn their house down.

An eye for and eye would make the whole world blind.

Which is why Geen takes a life for an eye.

It's true. Speed past me in your car = you die, wife dies, kids get beaten. Don't pick up your dog poop = arson/murder.