Get Out Of My House!

[planet planet]

Sounds like you missed a golden opportunity to give this guy the chance to take over your lease. Of course, that might have forced you out way sooner than you were willing to go.

I really wish I would have thought of that. I really do.

Probably wouldn't have mattered though since I doubt he could afford my half of the lease.

I would still say something though. You're close with your roommate. Explain it in a fashion where you're not insulting the guy, you just need your own space. Maybe I'm getting cranky in my old age, but it bugs me to no end when Mr. Planet invites people over without asking me. It's funny because I remember when Chris lived at my place in Soulard and my landlord made note of it when our house was getting rehabbed. At the time, I didn't think it was a problem. It shouldn't have been anyway because the rent was what it was.

[Michael]

I'm starting to think I should have a set of keys made, give them to a friend of mine, and then just encourage that friend to spend as much time as humanly possible here whether I'm here or not. Let's see if she finds that annoying.

I am annoying and I am your friend. I'm prefect for this job.

[G. Keenan]

I'm starting to think I should have a set of keys made, give them to a friend of mine, and then just encourage that friend to spend as much time as humanly possible here whether I'm here or not. Let's see if she finds that annoying.

I am annoying and I am your friend. I'm prefect for this job.

Please? I really might try this. I think it's a great way to make my point. You'll be my go-to guy if it comes to this.

[planet planet]

I'm starting to think I should have a set of keys made, give them to a friend of mine, and then just encourage that friend to spend as much time as humanly possible here whether I'm here or not. Let's see if she finds that annoying.

I am annoying and I am your friend. I'm prefect for this job.

Ha! Let's see how newly betrothed Colleen feels about you basically living at GK's place. Although now that I think about it, you could be pretty efficient with your constant drilling of questions. Michael's your man, GK!

[Michael]

I'm starting to think I should have a set of keys made, give them to a friend of mine, and then just encourage that friend to spend as much time as humanly possible here whether I'm here or not. Let's see if she finds that annoying.

I am annoying and I am your friend. I'm prefect for this job.

Please? I really might try this. I think it's a great way to make my point. You'll be my go-to guy if it comes to this.

You know how annoying I can be (seriously). It won't take long.

[Arthur Dent]

Don't you have an obligation to try the straightforward approach before going to the shenanigans? If he's got his own place now, why can't they hang out over there?

[G. Keenan]

Don't you have an obligation to try the straightforward approach before going to the shenanigans? If he's got his own place now, why can't they hang out over there?

He's subletting a bedroom in an apartment that already has two people living in it. I imagine they wouldn't feel as comfortable hanging in the common spaces there.

Of course I should be straightforward. My imagined shenanigans are just illustrations of the ways in which I feel they are being inconsiderate, ways that seem to me so obvious that I wouldn't have thought I even needed to say anything.

I suppose I will have to say something sooner or later, but I don't think it will be pretty.

[phins]

I understand your side of it my friend, but you have no right to be upset about the futon if it isn't yours. It's her boyfriend, and he needed a bed!

You have a right to wish she would take your feelings into consideration, and you have a right to wish they would at least spend more time in their room if they're going to be all couply, but I feel like you're only partially looking at it from your side. (Assuming what you say is all accurate, and you haven't made more concessions than you're letting on).

Finally, you have EVERY right to be upset that the person is there all the time, even if you both aren't there. You need to talk about that immediately. Establish some boundaries, and let your roommate know that you feel a little uncomfortable in your home because of it. I would say though, be prepared for some initial resistance. Be strong, be nice about it, but let her know that this is not what you signed up for, and it is half your home.

[G. Keenan]

I understand your side of it my friend, but you have no right to be upset about the futon if it isn't yours. It's her boyfriend, and he needed a bed!

You have a right to wish she would take your feelings into consideration, and you have a right to wish they would at least spend more time in their room if they're going to be all couply, but I feel like you're only partially looking at it from your side. (Assuming what you say is all accurate, and you haven't made more concessions than you're letting on).

Finally, you have EVERY right to be upset that the person is there all the time, even if you both aren't there. You need to talk about that immediately. Establish some boundaries, and let your roommate know that you feel a little uncomfortable in your home because of it. I would say though, be prepared for some initial resistance. Be strong, be nice about it, but let her know that this is not what you signed up for, and it is half your home.

I'm not mad about the futon though perhaps it came across that way. Really it perplexes me more than anything else. It was a shared item and one party unanimously decided to give it away. What if I just decided to give the dishes away one day, or the couch, or the tv? I didn't know that just owning something meant that I could deprive my roommate of it without asking them first.

The main way this impacts me is that I voluntarily exile myself all the time. I figured that I would just wait it out until he moved out. I don't think that's going to work. I talked to a friend today who gave me some good advice. She said I should reclaim some of my territory. Invite a friend over who my roommate doesn't particularly want to hang out with and camp ourselves out in the common spaces in the way that they do. I think this is a good idea. Basically what happens now is they do what they like with the common areas and I have the choice of either tagging along and feeling awkward or leaving. What I have been doing is leaving.

I don't think just bringing it up directly is a very good idea because my roommate is very bad at accepting any kind of criticism, or anything even resembling criticism. Eventually she will think about it and consider her behavior but her first reaction is to get extremely defensive, angry, often cry, and generally try to guilt the other person into ever having said anything in the first place.

[EastonBlues22]

first reaction is to get extremely defensive, angry, often cry, and generally try to guilt the other person into ever having said anything in the first place.

Didn't you already establish that your roommate was a woman?