wart57 wrote:My ex-wife and I had to live with eachother for about 4 months after the divorce for financial reasons. She wanted the divorce and was seeing a guy in Texas (we lived in Alabama) she was flying to Texas about once a month or so. It was very difficult to have to live with her, but it drove her nuts that I was going out with firends instead of staying home to keep her company. The best revenge was one night, I was asleep in the spare bedroom and she came walking in and crawled in to bed with me naked, and I kicked her naked ass out of my bed and locked the door. She was furious, and I was laughing my ass off. She finally got a new job in Texas and moved out about a month after that. The best advise I can give you, live your life, there is nothing you can do for that other person, it is up to them to move on.
That is a long time to live with someone in that situation.
I have to admit if he was doing anyone else, financial reasons or no financial reasons, his stuff would be at a storage facility and the locks would be changed within 24 hours.
wart57 wrote:My ex-wife and I had to live with eachother for about 4 months after the divorce for financial reasons. She wanted the divorce and was seeing a guy in Texas (we lived in Alabama) she was flying to Texas about once a month or so. It was very difficult to have to live with her, but it drove her nuts that I was going out with firends instead of staying home to keep her company. The best revenge was one night, I was asleep in the spare bedroom and she came walking in and crawled in to bed with me naked, and I kicked her naked ass out of my bed and locked the door. She was furious, and I was laughing my ass off. She finally got a new job in Texas and moved out about a month after that. The best advise I can give you, live your life, there is nothing you can do for that other person, it is up to them to move on.
That is a long time to live with someone in that situation.
I have to admit if he was doing anyone else, financial reasons or no financial reasons, his stuff would be at a storage facility and the locks would be changed within 24 hours.
To tell you how bad I wanted her out, I packed her sh!# in a u-haul and drove her and her sh!# (a large amout was really my sh!# but I didn't care, she could take everything as long as she left) to Austin because she told me it was going to take her about 3 months to get all her stuff because of her new job.
wart57 wrote:My ex-wife and I had to live with eachother for about 4 months after the divorce for financial reasons. She wanted the divorce and was seeing a guy in Texas (we lived in Alabama) she was flying to Texas about once a month or so. It was very difficult to have to live with her, but it drove her nuts that I was going out with firends instead of staying home to keep her company. The best revenge was one night, I was asleep in the spare bedroom and she came walking in and crawled in to bed with me naked, and I kicked her naked ass out of my bed and locked the door. She was furious, and I was laughing my ass off. She finally got a new job in Texas and moved out about a month after that. The best advise I can give you, live your life, there is nothing you can do for that other person, it is up to them to move on.
That is a long time to live with someone in that situation.
I have to admit if he was doing anyone else, financial reasons or no financial reasons, his stuff would be at a storage facility and the locks would be changed within 24 hours.
To tell you how bad I wanted her out, I packed her sh!# in a u-haul and drove her and her sh!# (a large amout was really my sh!# but I didn't care, she could take everything as long as she left) to Austin because she told me it was going to take her about 3 months to get all her stuff because of her new job.
Wow. What would have happened if you just took it to a storage facility and changed the locks? Would she have just camped out on the lawn?
Alright, seriously this time. I believe I've shared this story before, but I'll share it again.
I was living with my girlfriend in college, and we broke up like 1 month into the lease. Luckily, it was a mutual break-up, but it was still a pretty tough year. We went to two different schools, and both had busy class/work schedules, so we rarely saw each other.
I've never had to kick somebody out though (well, not a person I was dating--I've kicked out roommates before). I imagine that would be pretty difficult. Personally, I wouldn't handle the situation with kid gloves. I'd just say, "Look, we're both adults, and we need to make this as painless as possible. Just get your stuff together and soon as you can, and let's get this over with." Only a psycho would break stuff. And if he does, well then you can rest easy knowing that you at least broke up with the psycho before it was too late. Stuff is just stuff. If you're really concerned about certain items, just hide them.
wart57 wrote:My ex-wife and I had to live with eachother for about 4 months after the divorce for financial reasons. She wanted the divorce and was seeing a guy in Texas (we lived in Alabama) she was flying to Texas about once a month or so. It was very difficult to have to live with her, but it drove her nuts that I was going out with firends instead of staying home to keep her company. The best revenge was one night, I was asleep in the spare bedroom and she came walking in and crawled in to bed with me naked, and I kicked her naked ass out of my bed and locked the door. She was furious, and I was laughing my ass off. She finally got a new job in Texas and moved out about a month after that. The best advise I can give you, live your life, there is nothing you can do for that other person, it is up to them to move on.
That is a long time to live with someone in that situation.
I have to admit if he was doing anyone else, financial reasons or no financial reasons, his stuff would be at a storage facility and the locks would be changed within 24 hours.
To tell you how bad I wanted her out, I packed her sh!# in a u-haul and drove her and her sh!# (a large amout was really my sh!# but I didn't care, she could take everything as long as she left) to Austin because she told me it was going to take her about 3 months to get all her stuff because of her new job.
Wow. What would have happened if you just took it to a storage facility and changed the locks? Would she have just camped out on the lawn?
As much as I wanted to be, I just can't be intentionally mean to someone. It is all that Catholic guilt, you know, do unto others. So this seemed like a good idea, also, I was living in the house that had to stay in both of our names, also because of past financial issues, and only had to pay off our debt together for 4 years, so I knew if I was good to her, I would be free and clear of her in 4 years, any animosity would probably cost me more, and I would be looking for a new place to live. I sold the house a year later, moved to Maryland and then to Phoenix. She was paid off in 4 years, and I really have not heard from her in quite a while. I like to think the karma was paid back to me, I have a great wife (I know I complain, but she is really a great woman) and a beautiful daughter now.
I think the problem, Doc, is that you're forced to do two difficult things at once - end the relationship, and evict a roommate. Either one, on its own, would be a tough task. Others have already pointed out the important things to do - set a timetable, be kind, etc. But you can't be too "emotionally and physically available," otherwise the breakup will be kinda stunted, and the old feelings will linger. It might be good to offer to help him find a place.
In wart's case it was different because they were married and he couldn't just throw her and her stuff out, especially since their house was owned mutually. I had a friend just go through a divorce and they had to live together for 6 mos. for financial reasons also (plus, try selling a house you just bought a year or two ago in this market). I think your beginning of Feb. deadline is very generous, doc. He seems like a level headed guy, I'm sure he'll move out as soon as he finds a place. You might be worrying about nothing. I lived with a guy in his house once and I knew it was a bad move going into it, because if things went south I'd be out in the cold. Instead when I broke up, I just left town (which was also rash and dumb), mostly because I knew if I stuck around we'd just end up back together. Cleanest break up I've ever had. If I were you, I'd just plan a lot of activities with friends and try to be away from the house as much as possible.
And I hate when I start threads after having a bunch of drinks. I talk so melodramatically. "Be there for you emotionally and physically". WTF does that mean. All I really said was "if anything was ever bad in your life and you needed something to call".
