Rant/Rave: Bourbon

[AWvsCBsteeeerike3]

Ha. I can't think of much worse than getting a cocktail that is hyped up by a restaurant, paying ~$10-15 for it, and then having it taste like a kiddie cocktail. We went to one of the fanciest places in LR (I know, not saying much, but still) that highlighted their old fashioned on the drink menu. $13. Here's the description

Bourbon • Sarsaparilla Simple Syrup • Root Beer Bitters • Orange Rind • Sour Cherries

I can't remember what the bourbon was, and it didn't really matter because it tasted like a [expletive] ice cream float. Puke.

[ghostrunner]

I'm gonna put this here b/c it's not thread-worthy, but if it were you could call it "Rant: Drinking in LA."

I just spent a week there. Everything was way too damn sweet. I went to this place last night, the Melrose Umbrella Company. The menu is on a clipboard, and the first page is like 5 paragraphs that reads like a PR release telling you how the place is all about housemade tinctures, tonics and fresh juices and stuff, how they replicate the speakeasy culture of pre-Prohibition, with the bios of the two guys who opened the place telling you how awesome they are. Had three drinks, every one of them way out of balance and entirely too sweet. I had the "Patterson's Nap" which was Buffalo Trace, couple fruit juices, some bitters, and it tasted like a glass of juice. The bourbon was non-existent to the taste. It's the damn base spirit, it should shine and the other stuff should highlight it, but instead any taste of bourbon was removed by the sugary fruit juice. Had an aperitif cocktail, way out of balance and too sweet. Had a drink with pisco, rosé, creme de peche, and I swear the creme de peche must have been the base because it tasted like a peach with 5oz of sugar poured in and a little bit of carbonation. They garnished it with a gummy Life Saver. All of these were gross. This is what passes for cocktails in LA, fruit juice and overly sweet. I went to a couple other places and it was about the same, though this place was the worst. In short, F the LA cocktail "culture" where you get a page-long manifesto about how awesome they are on the menu and then order and the drinks all suck dong.

Sounds like my wife's kind of drinks.

FWIW I know a few people that live out there, and they don't paint the same picture. I have no idea what places they frequent though.

[33anda3rd]

I collected suggestions from my bar owner/manager/tender friends. My friend Lizzy moved here from there, she gave me a few. Another gave me this warning, and he was right: "They're about 5-6 years behind what we're doing in Chicago, New York, Portland. Even the best places." I went to Harvard & Stone, Melrose Umbrella Co., Good Times at Davey Wayne's, No Vacancy, Bar Ama and none would pass the 75th or so percentile here. They're all scene an no substance. The worst part about Melrose Umbrella Co was the one-page cover of the menu telling me how MUC is speakeasy-inspired blah blah blah, which is what about 100000 bars in the US are right now, making them not at all unique but running on about how awesome and original they are before you get to the drinks list. It's semi insulting to my sensibilities when you put that on the front of your menu then your drinks are fruity, sweet abominations. Also had one or more cocktails at a few restaurants--Bestia, Son of a Gun, Pot at the Line Hotel. Bestia's "The 21st Amendment" was my favorite cocktail of the trip, it's right up my alley--boozy, brown, bitter, stirred. The coffee out there is the same. There's Intelligentsia (Chicago company), Blue Bottle (Oakland company), Stumptown (Portland company) and then a lot of mediocrity from locals.

I did tell the server at MUC, when she asked, "Not good. All very very fruity and sweet. Not much balance. I like brown and bitter and tried to get there off the menu." She said "Oh, you could have ordered a classic like a Sazerac" which to me was like yeah, our bar stars who are hyped on the menu cover can't make their own drinks that fit more than one avenue of taste even though we want you very much to know that they're the best in the game with this stupid menu cover thing.

[Jocephus]

i know intelligentsia from conan

[thrill]

Schlansky is wrong about espresso.

[Jocephus]

well he is a fake italian from buffalo

[Swirls]

So Future-Mrs. Swirls is going in with a couple family members on a nice bottle of bourbon for her dad's birthday. Except her family members are worthless and nobody has decided on what to buy yet, and his birthday is tomorrow. And he lives in upstate NY while we are obviously down in SC now. So since she has plans after work, guess who gets to find a bottle of bourbon? She did some Googling yesterday, and came up with Old Forester Birthday Bourbon as a unique idea, but apparently that [expletive] is hard to find.

So after work I'm going to Total Wine and to see what they have in stock - they have a ton of bourbons online. Here's what I've come up with as possible options in the $50-$60 price point:

Woodford Reserve Double Oaked
Angel's Envy Barrel Selection
Jefferson's Reserve
Booker Noe 7 Year

Thoughts on those? Something else I should go for at that price point? She *really* wants the Old Forester Birthday, but I suspect they won't have it.

Note: I am not a bourbon guy - I'm more of a scotch/Canadian guy (Seven & 7 has been my go-to cocktail of choice for almost 15 years), although perhaps I should get into it. It seems like a good snobby hobby to get into since everyone these days is a craft beer snob (including me). Are hipsters into bourbon? I'm guessing not since it can get real expensive?

[Jocephus]

FWIW, which isn't much, but i've had jefferson and woodford and I like them. but there's definitely better people here to compare those 4 and your other options.

[33anda3rd]

Swirls, those are all very very good. You can't miss with any. Maybe go in and ask for the buyer, see if (s)he is around and ask what is in stock and recommended as a splurge gift. If you can find anything from the Orphan Barrel project, those are pretty awesome. The latest one is Forged Oak, it's 15 years, came out of the Stitzl-Weller rickhouse, and runs about $60-70. The Barterhouse 20 year is about $10 more, also a good pickup.

The best way to gift bourbon is an if-you-can-afford it approach of proactivity. See Weller Antique, Weller 12 Year, OlFo Birthday Bourbon, Stagg, Eagle Rare, others that you have heard are great and hard to get, pick it up and stash it for gift giving later.

[Jocephus]

if i did that those future gifts would become my own