Rave: The Onion

[pioneer98]

Republished an old one:
U.S. back on top as gas prices drop slightly

[lukethedrifter]

Republished an old one:
U.S. back on top as gas prices drop slightly

Funny, but if the Euro were where it is now then, AB wouldn't be part of InBev.

[pioneer98]

6 Incredible Stress-Reducing Life Hacks That Work Best If You Have Access To Some Sort Of Natural Geyser

[New Pagodi]

The Average Woman: This Anthropologist Blended Thousands Of Faces And One Horse To See What The Average American Woman Looks Like

I'm working through some multivariate statistics stuff right now, so that about made me fall out of my chair laughing.

[Schlich]

Scout Returns With News Of Quicker Checkout Line

[Schlich]

Not the onion, but this is pretty amazing.

http://pnis.co/

[Schlich]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/rock-a ... :1:Default

Dying.

[pioneer98]

New law forces CEOs to humbly shrug before receiving massive bonuses

Securities and Exchange Commission officials are calling it the strictest regulatory reform since the Great Depression: CEOs of major financial institutions will now be required to humbly shrug and smile sheepishly before accepting huge salary bonuses.

The new regulation, SEC rule 206(b)-7, will reportedly target Wall Street executives who accept disgustingly bloated annual payouts, forcing them to raise and then lower their shoulders in a manner that conveys a mild degree of humility or a sense of "Aw, shucks. Who? Me?"

"This sweeping new reform sends a clear message to fat-cat CEOs at firms like Goldman Sachs and AIG," SEC chair Mary Schapiro said Monday. "Never again will they be able to receive massive bonuses unless, at a minimum, they flash a gee-I-don't-think-I-should expression and say something like 'Well, all right, but only if you insist' first."

[SHOW]

[pioneer98]

Sorry they are on a roll today.

I don't vaccinate my child because it's my right to decide which eliminated diseases come roaring back

[pioneer98]

What John Boehner Got Right About Chasing Me Out Of His Home With A Baseball Bat

I’ll admit, John Boehner isn’t someone I often find myself agreeing with. Politically speaking, we’re at opposite ends of the spectrum, and I find his reluctance to work across the aisle reckless in our increasingly polarized country. But I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t give credit where credit is due, and I have to say, Speaker Boehner actually got a lot of things right when he chased me out of his home with a baseball bat.

Regardless of your political party, I urge you to consider the facts. I invaded HIS space, no doubt about it. He discovered me in his heavily guarded private residence, without his permission, in the dead of night. Not only was threatening me with the Louisville Slugger he stashes beneath his bed understandable, it was the right thing to do. Period.