Rave: Godparent!/Rant: Catholic Church

[tlombard]

I was in Virginia between Christmas and New Year's to visit my brother and his wife as well as finally meet my niece for the first time (she was born September 26, 2014) and my brother asked me to be her godfather. That was great. Made me very happy and honored. Plus it forces me to take a trip to the Daytona, FL area in early March which is another bonus. I should be able to hit up spring training while I'm there.

Then the problem. One of the godparents has to be a confirmed Catholic. The godmother will be my sister-in-law's best friend who is Baptist. That just leaves me. Ugh. I went through the baptism and first communion stuff when I was a kid but haven't been to church in over two decades other than weddings. So now I have until the end of February to get confirmed and have no idea if that is even possible. As a non-believer (but I also won't tell anyone they are wrong)... this should be fun.

Anybody have any idea if I can make it happen in time or do they need to find someone else? For my brother and niece, I'll do it and I won't complain (to them) about it but I will be extremely upset if I can't make it happen and they have to find someone else. Still waiting on a return call/email from St. Ambrose on The Hill to get this ball rolling. I probably should have gone to mass yesterday and tried to find someone to talk to but I didn't.

[Freed Roger]

IIRC, they do adult confirmants whenever they confirm the kids (late spring). I googled, there is some general info , but nothing local - but from what I see - end of Feb would be a longshot, unless you or your Godfather has, ummm connections...

[Socnorb11]

I dated a Catholic girl when I was pretty young, and she wanted me to be confirmed. I researched it a little bit, and even began the necessary steps. I thought it was a fairly lengthy and pain-in-the-ass process, but my memory is vague.

I'm not even sure what being a godparent means, to b honest. If they're wanting someone with religious ties (assuming that's the case, since they're asking you to be confirmed), and you're a non-believer, it might be best to just have that honest conversation with them. They might even appreciate and respect it up front, and then you're off the hook.

[tlombard]

I want to threaten to burn the place down if they can't get me confirmed by then but I won't. I don't need the cops showing up at my door for something I would never actually do. I will be very, very upset if I'm not able to be my niece's godfather however.

Edit: I get that they have policies and that is fine. It will be my 'fault' for not being Catholic should I not be able to be her godfather but that won't stop me from being mad about it all though. I'm honestly a little conflicted about it anyway. I'm not a believer and going through the confirmation process would be pretty dishonest to begin with but on the other hand, she's my family and I feel that they shouldn't be able to tell me that I can't be her godfather because I'm not confirmed while it is OK for someone else to be a godparent who isn't confirmed as long as the other is. Even if I was a believer, family would come before church.

[AWvsCBsteeeerike3]

I was in Virginia between Christmas and New Year's to visit my brother and his wife as well as finally meet my niece for the first time (she was born September 26, 2014) and my brother asked me to be her godfather. That was great. Made me very happy and honored. Plus it forces me to take a trip to the Daytona, FL area in early March which is another bonus. I should be able to hit up spring training while I'm there.

Then the problem. One of the godparents has to be a confirmed Catholic. The godmother will be my sister-in-law's best friend who is Baptist. That just leaves me. Ugh. I went through the baptism and first communion stuff when I was a kid but haven't been to church in over two decades other than weddings. So now I have until the end of February to get confirmed and have no idea if that is even possible. As a non-believer (but I also won't tell anyone they are wrong)... this should be fun.

Anybody have any idea if I can make it happen in time or do they need to find someone else? For my brother and niece, I'll do it and I won't complain (to them) about it but I will be extremely upset if I can't make it happen and they have to find someone else. Still waiting on a return call/email from St. Ambrose on The Hill to get this ball rolling. I probably should have gone to mass yesterday and tried to find someone to talk to but I didn't.

I had this same problem with my brother and sis-in-law as our sons godparents. He grew up in the church but isn't practicing. I don't remember if he was confirmed or not. But, he went to a priest and asked for a letter saying he was in the church. The priest gave it to him, and he was cleared. If pressed, I guess you could just join a church and then ask for the letter. I'm sure they do those all the time. Good luck. Also, you could tell them that you don't feel comfortable faking a religious belief that you don't really have and if they want you to be the godfather....you might need a creative solution.

[tlombard]

I was in Virginia between Christmas and New Year's to visit my brother and his wife as well as finally meet my niece for the first time (she was born September 26, 2014) and my brother asked me to be her godfather. That was great. Made me very happy and honored. Plus it forces me to take a trip to the Daytona, FL area in early March which is another bonus. I should be able to hit up spring training while I'm there.

Then the problem. One of the godparents has to be a confirmed Catholic. The godmother will be my sister-in-law's best friend who is Baptist. That just leaves me. Ugh. I went through the baptism and first communion stuff when I was a kid but haven't been to church in over two decades other than weddings. So now I have until the end of February to get confirmed and have no idea if that is even possible. As a non-believer (but I also won't tell anyone they are wrong)... this should be fun.

Anybody have any idea if I can make it happen in time or do they need to find someone else? For my brother and niece, I'll do it and I won't complain (to them) about it but I will be extremely upset if I can't make it happen and they have to find someone else. Still waiting on a return call/email from St. Ambrose on The Hill to get this ball rolling. I probably should have gone to mass yesterday and tried to find someone to talk to but I didn't.

I had this same problem with my brother and sis-in-law as our sons godparents. He grew up in the church but isn't practicing. I don't remember if he was confirmed or not. But, he went to a priest and asked for a letter saying he was in the church. The priest gave it to him, and he was cleared. If pressed, I guess you could just join a church and then ask for the letter. I'm sure they do those all the time. Good luck. Also, you could tell them that you don't feel comfortable faking a religious belief that you don't really have and if they want you to be the godfather....you might need a creative solution.

I think this is going to be my best bet. As I mentioned in my update while you were posting this, I don't feel good about going through the confirmation process as it is. No matter what, I will probably be lying to some extent in order to get permission to be her godfather as I'm not a believer but no matter how bad I feel about it, I'm willing to do it and just want to minimize any 'stretching of the truth' that I have to do. I don't feel strongly about a whole lot and am willing to reconsider most of what I believe, but you will not get me to budge on family first. At least at the same time I'll never tell them that their beliefs are wrong.

There are so many religions with common people, places and such. Only one can be right. Not one of them has convinced me that they are to this point.

Maybe I should just call up the 'cool Pope' this week and get his consent.

[Socnorb11]

I want to threaten to burn the place down if they can't get me confirmed by then but I won't. I don't need the cops showing up at my door for something I would never actually do. I will be very, very upset if I'm not able to be my niece's godfather however.

Edit: I get that they have policies and that is fine. It will be my 'fault' for not being Catholic should I not be able to be her godfather but that won't stop me from being mad about it all though. I'm honestly a little conflicted about it anyway. I'm not a believer and going through the confirmation process would be pretty dishonest to begin with but on the other hand, she's my family and I feel that they shouldn't be able to tell me that I can't be her godfather because I'm not confirmed while it is OK for someone else to be a godparent who isn't confirmed as long as the other is. Even if I was a believer, family would come before church.

It does seem odd that they're OK with one godparent not being confirmed. That makes very little sense.

I wouldn't be upset about not being a godparent. You can have an incredible relationship with your niece, without that "label" that you might be able to obtain somewhat fraudulently.


(your "cool pope" comment was funny)

[tlombard]

After talking to someone at the church, they would have to try and pull some strings to get me confirmed in time since normally it is a months long process that concludes around or after Easter (the current class started in October) so I'm just going to call my brother tonight and tell him he has to find someone else as much as I don't want to.

I definitely can't bring myself to ask them to try and find a way and be BS'ing them about my sincerity to join the church because I have no desire to truly become Catholic.

[lukethedrifter]

So it's an honorary thing, right? Not, who is going to raise the kids if the parents go down in a plane crash?

[Freed Roger]

I'm wondering if this rule gets enforced -and you have to offer proof of confirmation. Been 13 years, but I don't recall having to prove confirmation when my godchild was baptized.

If being godfather means a lot to you, I'd put it back to your brother, see if he's cool with you just playing rogue catholic. Hell, I'm not legit catholic (divorced, not anulled, and remarried) or practicing, liberal-leaning, and they let me play godfather. i'll take communion. My non-catholic grandpa did the same.

It's not like you are John Kerry running for Prez and GOP Archbishop Rigali or Burke is going to use you for an op-ed piece. ...maybe just go for it.