just bought a house and I am freaking out

[AWvsCBsteeeerike3]

The only way out of your panic is to redirect you. Tell us about the house you bought. Sq ft? # bedromms? # baths? Yard? Fruit trees? How are the neighbors?

I don't know if you were being serious, but thinking of the answers really did calm me down. Thanks.

[Arthur Dent]

A mortgage basically limits where you can live and the minimum amount of money you can make and the maximum you can spend. Which are big [expletive] limitations if you ask me.

How much more than renting, really? Both carry a monthly cost with which you may decide you no longer want to accept. Granted, selling a home is more work than ending a lease and a bunch of people will have their hands in your pockets for the transaction, but you still have to hunt down a new place and move all your stuff, which to me at least is daunting. Home buying also has a speculative component but the relative risk there is much lower than short term trading of 3D printer stocks. Also, almost no one actually stays in their home long enough to pay it off. The median length of length ownership is more like 10 years or something. When you no longer want the house, you can sell it and get the not having a job savings back, typically with interest.

To me, the main problem with housing in urban areas is that it just costs too damn much no matter the financial arrangement. The cost of rent around here also feels like a big [expletive] limitation.

Edit:

How do you justify having money sitting there when paying a mortgage?

Easily. Without a mortgage, you still face a choice between spending and saving. A mortgage tips the balance towards saving some as you have the option to save by paying down principal and reducing your interest cost, but even without a mortgage you trade-off returns on invested savings when you spend. I would still maintain a liquid emergency fund and then save or spend unexpected income like bonuses, or whatever, pretty much as I would without a mortgage.

[Popeye_Card]

My rent has been increased 25% in less than two years, so I wish I had bought a house.

In the city at least, I don't think it's that hard to sell a house should you want out. Reversing the marriage and kid decisions seems much more difficult.

But yeah, my fear is that I'll buy a place just before a waive of layoffs.

And you don't have this same fear that while laid off you couldn't provide for your wife and kid?

Basically if you need to get rid of your house, you may lose tens of thousands of dollars, worst case. You try to get rid of your wife, you're going to be out far more money than that. Your kid....um, you don't get rid of those.

Any time you drop a huge sum of cash on something, there's buyer's remorse. But compared to other things you drop a lot of cash on, houses at least retain most of their value. The bigger issue is, houses are a [expletive] time drain to maintain properly, if you do it yourself. Or expensive if you pay someone else to. Since becoming a home owner, virtually all of my hobbies have had to morph into house-related hobbies. Thankfully I still enjoy it, but I do kinda miss some of my old hobbies. I also miss spending all of my vacation time on actual vacations, and not having to take days and weeks off just to work on house projects.

[Arthur Dent]

My rent has been increased 25% in less than two years, so I wish I had bought a house.

In the city at least, I don't think it's that hard to sell a house should you want out. Reversing the marriage and kid decisions seems much more difficult.

But yeah, my fear is that I'll buy a place just before a waive of layoffs.

And you don't have this same fear that while laid off you couldn't provide for your wife and kid?

I'm not married, and if I were it would be to someone who earns their own income, but yeah, the fear of job loss is a primary reason I don't and won't have children. Houses I can sell.

The bigger issue is, houses are a [expletive] time drain to maintain properly, if you do it yourself. Or expensive if you pay someone else to. Since becoming a home owner, virtually all of my hobbies have had to morph into house-related hobbies. Thankfully I still enjoy it, but I do kinda miss some of my old hobbies. I also miss spending all of my vacation time on actual vacations, and not having to take days and weeks off just to work on house projects.

What all are you doing? There's the need to replace the roof, siding, painting, broken appliances, etc. but I can't see that being anywhere close to a full time deal.

[jim]

I really think home ownership is horrible. I agree with popeye - except the part about house related hobbies. Hate house fixing up and [expletive]. AW - if you are nervous, you have a reason. You should back out that commitment pronto.

[Michael]

Any time you drop a huge sum of cash on something, there's buyer's remorse. But compared to other things you drop a lot of cash on, houses at least retain most of their value. The bigger issue is, houses are a [expletive] time drain to maintain properly, if you do it yourself. Or expensive if you pay someone else to. Since becoming a home owner, virtually all of my hobbies have had to morph into house-related hobbies. Thankfully I still enjoy it, but I do kinda miss some of my old hobbies. I also miss spending all of my vacation time on actual vacations, and not having to take days and weeks off just to work on house projects.

Buying a condo fixes this issue.

[Popeye_Card]

My rent has been increased 25% in less than two years, so I wish I had bought a house.

In the city at least, I don't think it's that hard to sell a house should you want out. Reversing the marriage and kid decisions seems much more difficult.

But yeah, my fear is that I'll buy a place just before a waive of layoffs.

And you don't have this same fear that while laid off you couldn't provide for your wife and kid?

I'm not married, and if I were it would be to someone who earns their own income, but yeah, the fear of job loss is a primary reason I don't and won't have children. Houses I can sell.

The bigger issue is, houses are a [expletive] time drain to maintain properly, if you do it yourself. Or expensive if you pay someone else to. Since becoming a home owner, virtually all of my hobbies have had to morph into house-related hobbies. Thankfully I still enjoy it, but I do kinda miss some of my old hobbies. I also miss spending all of my vacation time on actual vacations, and not having to take days and weeks off just to work on house projects.

What all are you doing? There's the need to replace the roof, siding, painting, broken appliances, etc. but I can't see that being anywhere close to a full time deal.

Sorry, that was meant to be a response to AW. I need to selectively quote better.

EDIT: And what am I doing? Well let's see, this past weekend I...

* Mowed part of the yard (I have 5 mowable acres)
* Re-glazed a couple windows in my workshop
* Organized the supply room in the basement
* Sprayed weeds
* Vacuumed the pool
* Installed a threshold, did some caulk patching, and a few other finishing touches on a recent bathroom remodel

And a few other misc. tasks that I've since forgotten. Given, I'm an exception--I do a lot of my own remodeling work, plus I have a large property with 5 buildings on it that we have to maintain (plus another rental house that we maintain). And taking care of a pool sucks (not my choice--came with the house). But even when I had a much smaller house and lot in StL, my weekends were mostly full with just remodeling/restoration projects, plus routine maintenence. However I take a lot of extra time due to having old houses which I try to restore as much as possible--I don't just buy new things and replace the old, I typically strip paint, buff out the rust, etc. and attempt to re-use. To even re-paint a room turns from a 2 day project to a 3 week project, by the time old trim paint and wallpaper is striped, proper prep, etc.

Yeah, you could probably buy a newer house with a small yard, and get by with just a couple of hours a week working on stuff, and the occasional weekend project like painting. Or a condo. So my results are not typical of all homeowners.

[ghostrunner]

I was going to list all the work we've done but it's an immense list. Somewhat old house - 1966. It was a deal because it was a foreclosure, but we've easily put in the money that would have netted something in better shape. It's a giant pain in the ass. There are things I like about it, but I'd much rather be sitting on my ass a lot more.

I'd probably buy again but it would be a newer house, even though I don't like the style of most newly built houses.

[Popeye_Card]

I'd like to think I'd enjoy sitting around on my ass more. But if I wasn't working on my house, I'd probably be spending gobs of cash on other expensive hobbies. Or working. I miss my 20's...

[Arthur Dent]

Buying a condo fixes this issue.

How has the HOA worked out? My girlfriend owns a condo, and it hasn't been a great experience. Your neighborss pipes are in your walls, you have less control of the timing of special assessment for repairs/upgrades, etc.