Rant: Work-life balance

[JL21]

All I know is that nobody lies on their death bed wishing they'd worked more billable hours or given more effort at their job.

I know that's a gross simplification of it, but there's a reason people love to say [expletive] like that. It's true.

[IMADreamer]

Life is too short for that. I did/don't really care if I spend my life in poverty at this point as long as I can spend time with the people I love.

I chuckle at your post when you are not only earning money, but the size of your deposits are impressing your local bank teller. Tell me you're not being serious. World's smallest violin will otherwise be playing.

Don't hate me because of my uhhh "large deposits."

[heyzeus]

All I know is that nobody lies on their death bed wishing they'd worked more billable hours or given more effort at their job.

I know that's a gross simplification of it, but there's a reason people love to say [expletive] like that. It's true.

It is true. There are firms that I could theoretically be working for right now where, at my level, I would be approaching seven figures in income. Just about all of my friends who started out at such firms have left them before they reached the partner level, and that's by design: Life there is so awful, so brutal and demanding, that only about 1 in 10 associates don't quit or get forced out within the first 6 or 7 years.

I make less, and work with good people. And I leave most days before 6pm, and don't get any phone calls or emails at night or on weekends (unless we're approaching trial, but that's not frequent).

[Arthur Dent]

I don't know how to advise because every situation is so different. I have said said [expletive] it so many times and missed deadlines etc.. and it just doesn't seem to matter. In fact, I swear sometimes my stock goes up. I really have wondered at times how I have gotten away with stuff like I have. I have been in IT for 28 years, and I can probably count on my hands how many times I've worked > 40 hours in a week. I just won't do it, and even at times where I thought I would pay the price I didn't.

I do think people would be surprised at how you can stand up for yourself, say "no" and not be looked at in a negative light. I know that's not always the case, and maybe it's unique to my industry/employer/blind luck.

Hope things get squared away, work shouldn't rule your life though. If it does do something to change it.

That's mostly been my position as well. I'm willing to work longer hours for short periods of time if there is a legitimate reason, but poor project planning or schedules that assume everyone will work themselves to death are not acceptable justifications, and I will refuse them. So far, I haven't been punished mostly because I have been lucky enough to work for highly decent managers. A lot of others in the company have not been so lucky. A good friend of mine was put on track to be forced out by a manager who was demanding his employees come in basically every weekend, work constant 60 hour weeks, etc. My friend, who refused and only put in his normal solid 40, was only saved by the fact that the manager was finally recognized as terrible and got fired just in time. My girlfriend gave into demands the for absurd work hours and was punished anyway because even working 60+ hour weeks, the expected schedules were completely unrealistic given the resources provided. Naturally in corporate world, when you make absurd demands, it is the fault of the workers for not meeting them and not management for failing to be in touch with reality. Such are the wonders of having more or less authoritarian workplaces.

Most of this has really been dialed up post 2008. So long as there is plenty of unemployment and people struggling to find work, managers have a lot of power to crank up the level of exploitation.

[heyzeus]

Most of this has really been dialed up post 2008. So long as there is plenty of unemployment and people struggling to find work, managers have a lot of power to crank up the level of exploitation.

Yup. Every position we post, no matter the pay, results in 150+ resumes. So a manager with no particular moral compass (or one who is under tremendous pressure from his or her own manager to increase "productivity") would have no problem telling employees to work 7 days a week or else get replaced.

[JL21]

I've noticed that, too. More so in recent years than as far back as 2008, but I also work in an industry that's insulated a little bit.

It's definitely out there and I can't stand it.

[Radbird]

While I'm salaried, I have had to record my time for most of my career. Finally, I don't have to. Nobody knows how many hours I work but me. Nobody cares as long as I take care of the essentials of my job. I'm probably never get another raise or promotion. And at this point in time in my life, I'm fine with that. I just want to do an adequate enough job to ride out the remaining 5 years to retirement.

There are ex-coworkers who tell me that I could leave (retire) and get a significant bump in income. But it would mean relocating and getting back into a high pressure, long hours, lots of travel environment. Tempting, but no thanks. I'll gladly trade the income for lack of stress. May not be able to buy that retirement Aston Martin, but somehow we'll get by...

[Gashouse]

All I know is that nobody lies on their death bed wishing they'd worked more billable hours or given more effort at their job.

I know that's a gross simplification of it, but there's a reason people love to say [expletive] like that. It's true.

I try to remember stuff like that, but it's too easy to think "it will just be a few days of long hours until I can get caught up, and then it will be better." Then it turns to weeks, months, years. I never get caught up.

I really need to get better at delegating work so I don't try to do it all. Then if things get messed up, I can blame someone else and they can spend extra hours trying to fix it while wondering if it's billable or not.

BTW, I'm an engineer and work for a consulting firm. My particular niche (water resources) is generally employed at a consulting firm or in government, and my niche within my niche (stream restoration and hydraulic modeling) is really restricted to those entities. I would definitely consider a job with the Corps if they ever start hiring again, and they have a big office in St. Paul. I could try to switch my niche to low-impact design and/or green infrastructure and possibly open a few other doors, but don't know if that's really what I want to do.

My company works hard to promote work-life balance and they have a lot of great policies in place. I admit that a not insignificant part of the problem is my own. This rant has actually been cathartic and helps me motivate myself to set limits. In fact, I said "no" to work yesterday. Rave!

[jim]

I'm a manager, been about 5 years now. I HATE HATE HATE HATE the work. I really do, I miss cranking out code and solving problems. But.... there are advantages. For example, I just got some great news from a worker of mine. There is this SaaS solution we use that we have customized, and there is a piece in it to page people when there is a critical incident created. It hasn't been working right, it doesn't escalate properly. It only happens a fraction of the time, but it does happen. Those types of problems are hard to solve in themselves, but this is worse because there is a black box piece that we don't control.

I've been leaning on a couple of guys hard, actually giving them a random useful bit of information or guidance once in a while but mostly just looking boss-like and asking stupid questions and preparing stupid reports. "We have to solve this problem" and "This is impacting the business" ... stuff like that. All it does it raise their blood pressure, but I think down deep they know I'm full of [expletive] and that they know that I know that I'm full of [expletive]. But by boss ... the very definition of a worthless corporate middle manager - doesn't know the difference. He thinks we are actually important. And because of that, I'm going to get gold stars....

It appears as though my guys got it fixed. They really did do a great job, the hard part was isolating the vendor code and still reproducing the problem. Once the vendor saw this, they had to admit it was their issue and not our customization.

I'm an honest person, so I will of course give credit to where it is deserved and virtually none that credit belongs with me. I will honestly tell people like my boss and his boss that I didn't do anything, my guys did the work. I will build them up and put myself down, I will even make fun of myself for getting in their way. I will probably say if anything I HURT the situation - which is true. And my boss will tell me that I am critical to solving issues like this, that it shows I'm a leader and not a boss, and blah blah blah. Because he thinks that, he actually thinks he adds value to the organization which is comical. Me telling it like it is will not be believed, it will come across as me being a leader who wants to share more than my fair share of the credit, and I'll get a good pat on the back.

It's crazy.

Remember that skit with Eddie Murphy on SNL years ago where he dressed like a white guy and other white people give him free stuff and all of that? That's what management is like. You suspect that your managers are worthless when you are working, but until you become one you really have no idea just how crazy it is. It's a big club.

Ok, gotta' finish my report for my next meeting and collect my gold stars.

edit - and I think I"ll leave early today because I'm bored.

[JL21]

Jim, I can relate a lot to what you've said there.

I'd say half the time, I'm in the same scenario as you- trying not to get in the way, trying to make sure that the people who actually do the work get the credit instead of me, etc...

The other half of the time, I feel like I'm babysitting a bunch of bungling chimpanzees. I manage projects but not the people who actually do the work. So the complete [expletive] idiot who DOES manage them doesn't teach them what they need to know. And then I have to sweep up the mess.

Of course, the complete [expletive] idiot will be the one who takes the credit, even though he didn't lift a finger or do a single thing to take the job from start to finish.

I'm basically The Wolf from Pulp Fiction.