Rant: Crick in your neck

[jim]

What causes these [expletive]' things? I get these about 1-2x a year. I woke up this morning with a slight twinge somewhere in the neck upper shoulder/back - it's hard to pinpoint actually. Went to a yoga class this morning thinking that would stretch it out, and 10 minutes I realized that was a mistake. I am now basically immobile, unable to move my neck much. I just popped 800mg of ibuprofen hoping that will help.

I can never tell exactly where the pain is originating from. It could be behind my shoulder blade, in my neck .. I just don't know.

[JackofDiamonds]

What causes these [expletive]' things? I get these about 1-2x a year. I woke up this morning with a slight twinge somewhere in the neck upper shoulder/back - it's hard to pinpoint actually. Went to a yoga class this morning thinking that would stretch it out, and 10 minutes I realized that was a mistake. I am now basically immobile, unable to move my neck much. I just popped 800mg of ibuprofen hoping that will help.

I can never tell exactly where the pain is originating from. It could be behind my shoulder blade, in my neck .. I just don't know.

It's the [expletive] worst. I feel so helpless when this happens, but never more so then when I want to back the car out of a space. Cannot. Turn. Head.

Also, I think it's behind the shoulder blade. I had a really bacd crick that lasted for a week or so, went to a physical therapist and she pretty much reached under my shoulder blade and unmangled my muscles.

[jim]

I think it's under the shoulder blade too, but it's really hard to figure out where it originates from. The other thing with these is I used to get them right before I got sick, and there has been all sorts of nasty [expletive] in my house over the past two weeks including strep, norovirus, and a yet to be unidentified strain. I hope that's not it. 800mg of ibuprofen and it's not doing much to help.

I did lift pretty hard yesterday, maybe just a tiny tweak and then sleeping on it wrong.

Or neck cancer.

[Jocephus]

[slide_into_first]

I cure those faster than anyone but the government forces everyone to follow the same cookbook these days (so the public won't get upset if they have to see a physician's assistant or nurse practitioner), so I can't reveal my secret methods.

[Jocephus]

JERRY: Hey. What's with your neck?

ELAINE: Still killing me from having to get that bike off the wall.

(pointedly) By myself.

JERRY: Well, if it's any consolation, I did get her number.

ELAINE: (sitting) Ah, I think I really strained it. Ow.

JERRY: Aw, I doubt you strained it. Maybe you pulled it.

ELAINE: Ach, maybe.

JERRY: Did you twist it? You coulda twisted it.

ELAINE: I don't know.

JERRY: Did you wrench it? Did you jam it? Maybe you squeezed it. Turned

it...

ELAINE: (patience exhausted) You know what, why don't you just shut the

hell up?

JERRY: Awright.

ELAINE: God. Man, this is killing me. Right now, I would give that bike

to the first person who could make this pain go away.

KRAMER: Aw, you really hurting, huh?

ELAINE: Oh, Kramer, it's just awful.

KRAMER: Uh hmm. Well, your arterioles have constricted.

Kramer walks around behind the seated Elaine, and reaches for her neck.

KRAMER: Alright, lean forward, relax.

ELAINE: (worried) What? What?

KRAMER: Encounter shiatsu.

Kramer begins to work at Elaine's neck with his thumbs.

ELAINE: Wait a minute. Kramer, you know what you're doing here?

KRAMER: (continuing to work) Ohh yeah. A wise man once taught me the

Healing power of the body's natural pressure points.

ELAINE: Ah hah.

KRAMER: (to Jerry) He sells tee-shirts outside the World Trade Centre.

ELAINE: (seriously worried) Wha...?

KRAMER: He's a genius. Here we go...

Kramer takes a firm grip of each side of Elaine's head. Elaine looks

Really worried now. She grabs a hold of Jerry's shirt and the arm of the

couch, and her feet stamp on the floor.

KRAMER: From pain, will come pleasure.

Kramer violently twists Elaine's head to the left. There's a loud

Crunching sound, and Elaine cries out in shock. Kramer lets go of her head and

steps away, job done.

KRAMER: Uh? Voila.

ELAINE: (pleasantly surprised) Oh my god!

KRAMER: Yeah.

Elaine rolls her head around, completely comfortable.

ELAINE: Wow! That is unbelievable. The pain is totally gone!

JERRY: What's even more amazing is his formal training is in

paediatrics.

KRAMER: Awright, my work is done here.

Kramer heads for the door.

ELAINE: (big smile) Oh man! Kramer, thank you!

KRAMER: (closing the door) Yeah, you can send that bike over any time.

ELAINE: (after Kramer) What? (to Jerry) What, what is he talking about?

JERRY: I dunno. (realising) Oh, 'cos you said you'd give the bike to

anyone who fixes your neck.

ELAINE: You really think he wants the bike?

JERRY: Oh yeah.

ELAINE: It took him like ten seconds!

JERRY: Well, that's the most he's worked in the last four months.

[jim]

I can tell you the ancient art of yoga made it about 20x worse this morning, so not sure about Kramer's recipe.

[The Third Man]

I can tell you the ancient art of yoga made it about 20x worse this morning, so not sure about Kramer's recipe.

You didn't sleep on a wooden board for a week. It's common sense.

[Jocephus]

I can tell you the ancient art of yoga made it about 20x worse this morning, so not sure about Kramer's recipe.

You didn't sleep on a wooden board for a week. It's common sense.

hah yep

[lukethedrifter]

probably got it from peeking somewhere you shouldna been peeking