Rave: The Onion

[pioneer98]

Yankees Honor Derek Jeter, Retire His Number, Forcibly Remove Him From Stadium

[pioneer98]

New poll finds Americans view death of close relative more favorably than Congress
http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-po ... :1:Default

"When asked whether they would prefer to select a casket for their child or endure the forthcoming congressional showdown over the debt ceiling, 89 percent of Americans said they would rather bury their own offspring,” said Pew spokesperson Diana Shostak

[sighyoung]

Heroic Broken Sewage Pipe Floods Congress with Human Waste

[stlouie_lipp]

The Onion weighs in on the Redskins name controversy.

[planet planet]

Cardinals v. Red Sox

[pioneer98]

ESPN Has Been Talking About Beards For 80 Straight Hours

[pioneer98]

NASA: 'We Will Have A Mass Shooting On The Moon By 2055'

The panel of NASA administrators and scientists said that, given the current rate of progress in research and development, the space agency was on track to place a deranged gun-toting madman on the moon by the middle of this century, with officials expressing confidence that a double-digit body count on the lunar surface would be a reality within the majority of Americans’ lifetimes.

[sighyoung]

The Boston Tribute to Marathon Victims Continues

[Michael]

Speaking as a low level manager this is amazing:

[/youtube]

[Michael]

Survival Of Autoerotic Asphyxiation Closest Thing Man Got To Christmas Miracle

At first glance, the overweight and single Fosbeck might not seem like the kind of character you'd normally see in a heartwarming Christmas tale. And, basically, he isn't, because this is not exactly that type of story. On the other hand, Fosbeck did learn something about the true spirit of the season, albeit in a rather disturbing way. And he didn't die. So if you think about the whole thing with that in mind, it's almost hopeful.