Shoot me now.

[sighyoung]

Like Fat Strat says, each child is different, and each will train you how to parent him or her.

My son, for instance, couldn't nap. He had so many food allergies that we had to have him tested (who is allergic to rice cereal, for goodness sake? Our son, of course. Oddly enough, he wasn't allergic to peanuts, so peanut butter was his main source of protein). Thin and sickly, he constantly had ear infections, and he had so many illnesses growing in his first two years that his molars look like pockmarked lunar surfaces. He was on a special diet for three years until he outgrew his food allergies. And on and on.

Then along comes my daughter five-and-a-half years later. Never had an ear infection. Always able to nap and get to sleep for fairly long periods of time. But addicted to a pacifier (my son never liked them). Headstrong to the point of constantly endangering herself. (My son would always look at us before, say, trying to stick his finger in an electric socket. My daughter would just try to do it, or impulsively run across the street by herself, and constantly needed to be watched.) My son picked up reading very early, but my daughter started very late, and so on, and so on.

A good thing about two children is that they rat out on each other. I feel like the president of East Germany using the populace to spy on itself.

[jim]

After my first child, I realized that children were great forms of birth control.

It took us five years to dare have another one.

Six for us. And after the second I promptly when in to the doctor for a procedure.

[Freed Roger]

After my first child, I realized that children were great forms of birth control.

It took us five years to dare have another one.

Six for us. And after the second I promptly when in to the doctor for a procedure.

Friends of ours found out that those procedures aren't foolproof.

[jim]

After my first child, I realized that children were great forms of birth control.

It took us five years to dare have another one.

Six for us. And after the second I promptly when in to the doctor for a procedure.

Friends of ours found out that those procedures aren't foolproof.

I've heard that's a remote possibility but with all the burning flesh I smelt the day I had that it's hard for me to believe.

[planet planet]

After my first child, I realized that children were great forms of birth control.

It took us five years to dare have another one.

Six for us. And after the second I promptly when in to the doctor for a procedure.

Friends of ours found out that those procedures aren't foolproof.

I've heard that's a remote possibility but with all the burning flesh I smelt the day I had that it's hard for me to believe.

They burn your sack? I'm not sure how I feel about you now that I know you're shooting blanks.

[Freed Roger]

After my first child, I realized that children were great forms of birth control.

It took us five years to dare have another one.

Six for us. And after the second I promptly when in to the doctor for a procedure.

Friends of ours found out that those procedures aren't foolproof.

I've heard that's a remote possibility but with all the burning flesh I smelt the day I had that it's hard for me to believe.

Yeah, he was stunned. He assumed he'd been made a cuckold.

It has to be a [expletive]- Going thru that process, having it not take, wasting his spousal accusation card, and topping it off with a couple more decades of parental servitude.

[jim]

Well the "process" really isn't a big deal. Icebag on your sack for a day, three days later I was back riding a bicycle, and since you have to clean yourself out after I got 20 straight blows before the last one went into a cup for testing. Not a bad deal really. Any side effects? ... was still hitting the ceiling after the procedure. So no.

I recommend it.

[Freed Roger]

Eunuch

[haltz]

Looks like there's a new pope.

[/youtube]

Good to see you back, Freed.

[jim]

After my first child, I realized that children were great forms of birth control.

It took us five years to dare have another one.

Six for us. And after the second I promptly when in to the doctor for a procedure.

Friends of ours found out that those procedures aren't foolproof.

I've heard that's a remote possibility but with all the burning flesh I smelt the day I had that it's hard for me to believe.

They burn your sack? I'm not sure how I feel about you now that I know you're shooting blanks.

They cut your sack open and burn the Vans Scully which feels like it's attached to your kidney or something. Doesn't hurt, but you feel them yanking on it. That and the smell of burning flesh are the only things you notice.