GatewayRedbirds.com

I had a late night city council meeting in a small town out in the Texas coastal bend last night, the kinda place that's surrounded on all sides by 40 miles of dark, empty thicket. The highway out of there is just a dark two lane road.

I came over a crest at 65mph and there was a pack of four wild hogs in my lane. I slammed on the brakes, and veered toward the shoulder, but pow. Nailed one. Now my front bumer is dented and cracked, and sprayed with pig blood like it was an extra from Carrie.

I have a 12 year old Accord, so the cost of repair is probably close to the value of the car. This is one of the big reasons I just don't give a [expletive] about new or fancy cars. Buy one, and it eventually just gets pummeled by pig goo.

Anyway, I got home late at night and hosed the blood off the bumper in the driveway. I felt a lot like a serial killer, which was nice. I hope my Nazi neighbor peered out her window and saw me, and now knows what I'm capable of.

@heyzeus
Couple things:
Glad you're alright and didn't swerve into a tree to avoid the hogs. Always hit the animal, not the tree.

As the owner of a 15 year old Accord, I'm somewhat jealous of the added character your car got last night. Feel like some hog goo on the bumper would go well with my foggy headlights.

Feral hogs are an absolute nuisance. [expletive] them.

AWvsCBsteeeerike3 wrote: ↑

December 17 21, 8:38 am

@heyzeus
Couple things:
Glad you're alright and didn't swerve into a tree to avoid the hogs. Always hit the animal, not the tree.

As the owner of a 15 year old Accord, I'm somewhat jealous of the added character your car got last night. Feel like some hog goo on the bumper would go well with my foggy headlights.

Feral hogs are an absolute nuisance. [expletive] them.

I feel bad if I hit a squirrel. They're cute and fuzzy and not harming anyone, and they entertain my kids with their squirrel antics.

But I don't feel bad about the hog. They suck, injure other animals and sometimes people, and destroy crops.

I'm probably not repairing the car. I'll just sell it as-is someday for slightly less old Accord.

Get an AR so you can through 30 to 50 of them

Yeah, people spend a lot of money to get rid of those things and it's no easy task because they're smart, skiddish, and breed like rabbits. Rabbits that grow to be hundreds of pounds and eat anything and everything they can touch.

MrCrowesGarden wrote: ↑

December 17 21, 8:59 am

Get an AR so you can through 30 to 50 of them

heyzeus wrote: ↑

December 17 21, 8:16 am

Anyway, I got home late at night and hosed the blood off the bumper in the driveway. I felt a lot like a serial killer, which was nice. I hope my Nazi neighbor peered out her window and saw me, and now knows what I'm capable of.

I finally found the opening scene to my True Detective spec script. Thanks!

for the hog's family.

I was certain this would be about this story…

MrCrowesGarden wrote: ↑

December 17 21, 8:59 am

Get an AR so you can through 30 to 50 of them

But do they make good BBQ?