Wallowing in Self-Pity
Posted: September 6 14, 11:21 am
I know this is a temporary feeling - this funk I'm in right now. I'm usually a very positive person, able to put things in perspective. Having a tough time right now - this has been, as zeus would say, the 52nd worst week of my life.
I was recruited for a job and have had several interviews over the last few weeks. It would have been a perfect fit for me - right in my sweet spot. I would've retired from my current company and started drawing my pension and received a considerable pay bump. It was a 2-year contract and with the pay increase we could've comfortably retired afterwards - 3 years ahead of our current schedule. One of the interviewers was hesitant because I hadn't done one particular thing that isn't even in the job description. She's not even in my field, a peripheral organization I would've had to interface with, but she's a VP and had veto power which she exercised.
Two days before I heard about that decision, I had a health issue. Blood in my urine. No big deal, I thought, just another kidney stone. Not a pleasant experience but I've been through this before and I've always said that of all the health problems for someone to have, this ranks pretty low on a scale of 1 to 10. But you never know about things, so I made an appt with my urologist to confirm. I had blood tests, x-rays, CT scans on Thursday and went in yesterday to get the results. I wasn't ready for the answer - yes, I have kidney stones - note the plural - 18 of them (that's not a typo). And a cyst on my right kidney. And an enlarged prostate. I have lithotripsy scheduled for next week with other procedures to follow if that doesn't take care of the stones. Then MRIs and possible biopsies of my prostate and right kidney.
I come home from hearing all this and immediately get the phone call about the job. My first thought was "everything happens for a reason" - which made me chuckle when I saw planet's thread because I think that is a BS adage. I didn't get the job because I need to focus on my health. Like this lady knew that and did me a favor. I'm still really pissed off about the job - felt like I could handle everything, especially since the start date would've been the November time frame, giving me time to deal with the medical issues.
At times like this, feelings of sadness, being down in the dumps, the "woe is me" syndrome is normal. I know I'll come out of it. I've been very blessed in my life and luckier than 99% of the people in this screwed up world we live in. I already feel better - just writing this post has helped me realize things aren't as bad as I'm making them out to be right now.
I'm taking this weekend to process things and then it's back in the saddle again.
I was recruited for a job and have had several interviews over the last few weeks. It would have been a perfect fit for me - right in my sweet spot. I would've retired from my current company and started drawing my pension and received a considerable pay bump. It was a 2-year contract and with the pay increase we could've comfortably retired afterwards - 3 years ahead of our current schedule. One of the interviewers was hesitant because I hadn't done one particular thing that isn't even in the job description. She's not even in my field, a peripheral organization I would've had to interface with, but she's a VP and had veto power which she exercised.
Two days before I heard about that decision, I had a health issue. Blood in my urine. No big deal, I thought, just another kidney stone. Not a pleasant experience but I've been through this before and I've always said that of all the health problems for someone to have, this ranks pretty low on a scale of 1 to 10. But you never know about things, so I made an appt with my urologist to confirm. I had blood tests, x-rays, CT scans on Thursday and went in yesterday to get the results. I wasn't ready for the answer - yes, I have kidney stones - note the plural - 18 of them (that's not a typo). And a cyst on my right kidney. And an enlarged prostate. I have lithotripsy scheduled for next week with other procedures to follow if that doesn't take care of the stones. Then MRIs and possible biopsies of my prostate and right kidney.
I come home from hearing all this and immediately get the phone call about the job. My first thought was "everything happens for a reason" - which made me chuckle when I saw planet's thread because I think that is a BS adage. I didn't get the job because I need to focus on my health. Like this lady knew that and did me a favor. I'm still really pissed off about the job - felt like I could handle everything, especially since the start date would've been the November time frame, giving me time to deal with the medical issues.
At times like this, feelings of sadness, being down in the dumps, the "woe is me" syndrome is normal. I know I'll come out of it. I've been very blessed in my life and luckier than 99% of the people in this screwed up world we live in. I already feel better - just writing this post has helped me realize things aren't as bad as I'm making them out to be right now.
I'm taking this weekend to process things and then it's back in the saddle again.