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Went to the game July 5th with my wife. Saw a good game, Cards beat Marlins and Jacob Turner 4-1. Afterward I took my wife out for a drink at this new place in Lafayette Square called Tripel. Lots of Belgian beers and Belgian style food- though they looked like fries to me. We're only there for one drink before we are headed home. Get in the car and I'm getting ready to start it when we suddenly get rocked and lurch forward. For a half second I'm confused then I realize we got hit while we're still in the angled parking spot. I hop out to check it out and this older model van is driving off. [expletive].
The damage isn't too bad but it's there. Big scratch in the rear bumper. I get the plate, at least I think I get it right, then call the police and report it. Then I wait and wait and wait and finally say screw it and we head home. The following day she takes it to the car wash and they make it look a whole lot less noticeable.
I go on vacation then I forget about it for while. Until last night when I remember what the plate is and have it run. Turns out I was right. The registered vehicle matches the van that fled the scene, a 90 Ford Aerostar. So I get the the name and address then do a bit of googling and figure out that it's the owner's kid who was driving, find his facebook page and it turns out the kid worked (until he got fired) at the same place we stopped in for a drink. When I check google streetview the very van is in front of the address. Confirmation, yes.
So I have my wife go get an estimate then head over to the house later this afternoon. There's the van out front. Knock on the door and a young lady answers and I ask if the owner of the van lives there. "Yes, do you want to talk to him?"
A couple minutes later this guy, maybe 50, with a sort of world weary Christian hippie way about him comes to the door. I tell him what happened and I can see the quiet exasperation as he tells me that his 23 year old son is smart, creative, total [expletive] up who can't get his [expletive] together. Says he'll take care of it since it's he is the owner, that maybe his son going to jail for leaving the scene of an accident is what he needs, that he and his wife are at wit's end, and that he really doesn't have any money and can he give me half now and half in 30 days.
I feel terrible for the guy. Seems like a genuinely good person and I don't want to make his life any harder. Think I'm going to go get a cheaper estimate and tell him to forget the second payment. I'm even thinking about tearing up the check he gave me. Sucks, cuz he's got it much worse in this deal than I do.

That's a real [expletive].

I think you have to cash the check. We both know - how hard it is to raise a kid that is legally an adult. but have to force their hand. We've attempted to deal with Dad's of kids that hit us -(100% their fault). The Dad's wanted to settle outside of insurance -which we quickly found out was too much a pain in the arse to deal with. I'm not saying that this guy wasn't genuine, but the Dad's we dealt laid it on thick.

Anyway, crappy deal all the way around.

90 ford Aerostar - now that must be something.


With that , I join the 10,000 club.

I'm really sorry to hear that, luke--not only because of the crap you're going through, and the crap that dad has been going through, but because my son just turned 16.

You've got to cash that check. The family might put off action if you don't.

Are you kidding me? I wouldn't think twice. The kid obviously has no sense of culpability and you had to track him down. It shouldn't matter who's actually paying.

lukethedrifter wrote:I feel terrible for the guy. Seems like a genuinely good person and I don't want to make his life any harder. Think I'm going to go get a cheaper estimate and tell him to forget the second payment. I'm even thinking about tearing up the check he gave me. Sucks, cuz he's got it much worse in this deal than I do.

The skeptic in me says he could just be feeding you a line of BS. Cash the check; even if he is being genuine, the kid needs to learn some responsibility. Dad can take the money out of the kid's paycheck.

Molly wrote:

lukethedrifter wrote:I feel terrible for the guy. Seems like a genuinely good person and I don't want to make his life any harder. Think I'm going to go get a cheaper estimate and tell him to forget the second payment. I'm even thinking about tearing up the check he gave me. Sucks, cuz he's got it much worse in this deal than I do.

The skeptic in me says he could just be feeding you a line of BS. Cash the check; even if he is being genuine, the kid needs to learn some responsibility. Dad can take the money out of the kid's paycheck.

It'd be difficult to be more cynical than I am but the dude wasn't feeding me any BS. And Dad can't take money out of the kid's paycheck since the kid can't keep a job and is apparently a drug addict. The son's non private facebook page would pretty much confirm this.

planet p wrote:Are you kidding me? I wouldn't think twice. The kid obviously has no sense of culpability and you had to track him down. It shouldn't matter who's actually paying.

Of course the kid has no sense of shame. Or if he does it's driving him further into his reckless behavior and addictions. I can't know which.

Is the father responsible for a 23 year old's debts? In this case, legally he is because he is the owner of the vehicle. That said, to me it does matter who is paying. And I don't feel great about piling on even though I was financially hurt.
It's not a case of some spoiled rich kid with a sense of entitlement. Were that the case, I'd have not a second thought about taking the money from the father- though I'd want the son to pay.

Like I said in the OP, I did my research and everything the father said matched up with what I found. And like I said, I'm cynical enough. But I also feel pretty comfortable with my ability to read people and this father was exhausted. And I hope I'm never in his shoes.

That was some fine po-lice work you did there. And yeah, cash the check.

If it was me, I probably don't cash the check, and I send the dad a letter letting him know why, wish him good luck, and move on.

But I am a big sucker too.