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Darwin was full of [expletive]. You would think this problem would have evolved itself out over the years, but apparently not so much.

Quiet (non-obnoxious) gentlemen were looked upon highly a century or two ago. We're evolving alright, but in the wrong direction.

Richie Allen wrote:Quiet (non-obnoxious) gentlemen were looked upon highly a century or two ago. We're evolving alright, but in the wrong direction.

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Shyness is actually narcissistic.

Cronos69 wrote:Darwin is full of [expletive]. You would think this problem would have evolved itself out over the years, but apparently not so much.

Aren't you going to school to be a shrink? Isn't it your job to fix people's minds so they aren't shy anymore?

Swirls wrote:

Cronos69 wrote:Darwin is full of [expletive]. You would think this problem would have evolved itself out over the years, but apparently not so much.

Aren't you going to school to be a shrink? Isn't it your job to fix people's minds so they aren't shy anymore?

Is there a name for the psychiatrist-curled-up-in-fetal-position-in-office-corner-and-wont-even-talk-to-patient approach?

Cronos, you're a successful happening dude whose got a lot going for him. Just relax and think positive. Your subject of study is interesting and relate-able to peoples' lives; you've gotta natural "in" as a conversation starter. Just work from your base and don't try and be outgoing for outgoingness' sake.

The sooner you learn. To say screw it the better. I was shy for too long now I just don't care.

Another natural "in", rather than talking about yourself, is asking questions of the person you want to have a conversation with. People love to talk about themselves. People think they're interesting. If you talk a lot about them, they'll end up thinking you're interesting, even if you say very little about yourself. Or at least they'll think you're sweet and/or polite for inquiring, if that's any consolation. As much as we've embraced the type A personality and have been made to feel deficient if we can't reinvent ourselves as such, I still think people are generally turned off by loud, abrasive, self-centered people that only know how to talk about themselves. Don't try to act like someone else. Be yourself. But every now and then, throw yourself out there in an uncomfortable situation and see how you (and they) respond. If it's important to you, do it more often and eventually you'll find a style that suits you and you'll be more comfortable.

No one is paying attention to you and they wouldn't give a crap if they were- and no one is perfect