GatewayRedbirds.com

A couple of years ago, I was a faculty adviser to a student who wouldn't show up for advising. At that time, students needed to get clearance from an adviser to be able to sign up for classes--or they could waive advising, in which case they could register. This student waited so long that she only had a couple of days to register for spring semester courses, and she was planning to graduate in the spring, so she asked at the last minute if I could advise her.

I didn't have time to meet with her, so she asked to waive advising, and I said yes on three conditions: 1) that she write the English department office to verify that she was waiving advising; 2) that she follow up with me to make sure she was taking all her needed courses; and 3) do what is called a degree-check to make sure she had all the credits needed to graduate in the spring.

She didn't do any of those (although I protected myself and wrote down that she didn't want advising). So, guess what? Come spring, she didn't have all the courses she needed. So she accuses me of incompetence, screams at secretaries in the dean's office, demands a meeting with the dean . . . all until it was proven that she had REFUSED ADVISING, and had been advised TWO YEARS PREVIOUSLY to take the course she needed to graduate.

So today, guess which student calls me up to ask for a letter of recommendation? Yep. And dutifully, I return her call, and explain why it isn't such a good idea to ask me for a letter. She proceeds to tell me how wrong I am, that she never defamed me, that I don't understand . . . and I tell her point blank, "You purposely defamed me, so I WILL NEVER WRITE YOU A LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION."

Well! She then tells me "You have no right to raise your voice with me! You're completely . . ."

So finally, I just had to scream into the phone again, "I WILL NEVER WRITE YOU A LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION!" And I hung up. Of course she calls back (with her name and number screened), but I didn't bother to pick it up.

I'm sorry, but I'm still stunned--what kind of an idiot defames someone, and thinks that person would happily write a letter on her behalf, and actually thinks it would be a positive letter? I was doing her a FAVOR by refusing to write it, because I sincerely couldn't recommend her for anything, and she thinks she can argue me into writing a favorable letter, too!

Oh, the humanity!

Would she see the letter? do it and write a truthful letter.

Is that her in your avatar?

Ha! Arguing with someone who doesn't want to write you a sealed letter of recommendation is a great strategy.

I'd actually appreciate if someone openly declines. I had to get three of these to apply for grad school, and I'm suspicious that one of them may have not been entirely favorable.

Is she hot?

I get a kick in reviewing recommendation letters that aren't that favorable.

BW23 wrote:Is that her in your avatar?

I know where you're going with that . . .

BW23 wrote:I get a kick in reviewing recommendation letters that aren't that favorable.

what do they say?

That there's ball of solid rock.

AWvsCBsteeeerike3 wrote:

BW23 wrote:I get a kick in reviewing recommendation letters that aren't that favorable.

what do they say?

It varies. Sometimes I get them on perspective students. Some on perspective employees.

The bad ones on perspective students usually have negative things relating to their lack of responsibility (being late for work, not doing what they're supposed to do). But they'll touch on their personality, too.

I've seen some on perspective employees that state that they're not ready for this kind of job. Unfortunately, they're often right.

I love the ones where the people filling out the recommendation have only known the person for a few weeks or so and are actually honest about it.

These people can't find anyone else???