R/R: How Weedeating Turns Into Skinny Dipping
Posted: July 27 08, 8:44 pm
Since I"m working on Bud Light Lime #5, I feel sufficiently numb enough to purge myself of the details of my day, not that anyone cares, but it will make me feel better and I really don't care anyway. So my Dad is in the Hospital and being the good daughter I am, I'm trying to help keep up with their 5 acres of lawn care. I already broke one of their weedeaters, but another has taken it's place. I get it out of the box, plug it in, and the nylon thread whips across my legs taking my skin with it. I throw it down, pick it up, and do it again. This time taking skin off the tops of my feet because I am, of course, weedeating in my swimming suit and flip flops (doesn't everyone). Finally figure out that I have to hold the thing way far away because the nylon string things are like 12" long and there are 2 of them. Soon it stops working I turn it upside down and see that the strings are now wrapped around the metal thing in the middle like 500 times. I try to unwind them but they are melted into one big blob. The weedeater takes a flying trip across the yard. Luckily the fridge is stocked with BLL, the pool is calling me. Five acres gives lots of privacy, no one else is home, so off goes the swimming suit and into the water. Absolute heaven. Nothing like sun, BLL, and naked skin in a giant warm pool of water.
So at this time I will share with you that 3 weeks ago I filed for divorce (this will be a separate rant at a later time). I knew the whole time the weedeater thing was going on that somewhere my soon to be ex was holding a voo doo doll laughing his hairy butt off. But here's the thing. I now have this awesome all over tan and he will NEVER see it. HA!
So at this time I will share with you that 3 weeks ago I filed for divorce (this will be a separate rant at a later time). I knew the whole time the weedeater thing was going on that somewhere my soon to be ex was holding a voo doo doll laughing his hairy butt off. But here's the thing. I now have this awesome all over tan and he will NEVER see it. HA!
