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I'm sorry, but women will find stuff to get upset about no matter what sometimes. My roommate is all offended that she didn't get invited to a friend's wedding. By friend I mean someone she knew from an MA program and would see at parties, hang out with occasionally, etc. I was a co-worker of this girl getting married for a year and we got to be good buds. I got invited. In any case, my roommate said that it's not that she didn't get invited that bothers her, but that she has to hear about all the wedding planning from this girl since they occasionally have lunch together as they work in the same neighborhood.

Wedding girl told me she feels bad to not have invited my roommate, but that she and her fiance don't have a lot of money to spend, and have already invited 200 people. By the time they began lunching together the guest list was pretty much set I think. Why this bothers my roommate so much is beyond me, but she perceives it as some giant breach of common decency that wedding friend hasn't invited her but still talks about the plans. To me it falls under the category of BFD. Am I wrong here?

What happened to "Women are no big mystery, they're just like men"?

My (speculative) opinion is that this is not a difference in what people get upset about but how they handle it. Men get worked up over stupid stuff too, but they're expected to handle it differently (perhaps by becoming drunk and bitter). Anyway, do you really need to hold the line on wedding guests on a list of 200? If someone else expresses interest in coming, why not let them?

Cronos69 wrote:What happened to "Women are no big mystery, they're just like men"?

Well I don't think there's anything particularly mysterious going on.

I guess I can see my roommate's point. It sucks on some level to have to hear about a big party that you aren't invited to from the person throwing the party.

But you have to acknowledge that she can't invite everyone she ever met and that people, women in particular, get really excited talking about their weddings, especially when they have been doing all of the planning themselves, down to hand making the invitations.

[quote="Arthur Dent" If someone else expresses interest in coming, why not let them?[/quote]

Because you can't afford for them to come.

And women definitely like drama more than men. Not all women of course, I'm generalizing. But by and large, they are more apt to get upset about these sort of social protocol issues.

G. Keenan wrote:

Arthur Dent wrote: If someone else expresses interest in coming, why not let them?

Because you can't afford for them to come.

If there are 200 guests, adding one more would probably raise costs by less than half a percent. Would that really break the bank?

Perhaps my male friends are unusual, but I have known them to get upset from small or even imaginary social slights. However instead of talking it out, they'd get in fights or become bitter. For example, some of my high school friends rented a house together for college and ended up hating each other because of incredibly dumb stuff like who ate the frozen burritos. When I talked to them about it, it was always understood that other people were being too dramatic and that they were simply being reasonable.

Arthur Dent wrote:

G. Keenan wrote:

Arthur Dent wrote: If someone else expresses interest in coming, why not let them?

Because you can't afford for them to come.

If there are 200 guests, adding one more would probably raise costs by less than half a percent. Would that really break the bank?

Perhaps my male friends are unusual, but I have known them to get upset from small or even imaginary social slights. However instead of talking it out, they'd get in fights or become bitter. For example, some of my high school friends rented a house together for college and ended up hating each other because of incredibly dumb stuff like who ate the frozen burritos. When I talked to them about it, it was always understood that other people were being too dramatic and that they were simply being reasonable.

In addition to whatever added cost there might be, there is also the fact that this girl and my roommate aren't close friends, never have been, and only within the last month and half began working in the vicinity of each other. Also, if she really feels like she's suffered some huge social insult she should tell this girl, rather than complain to me about it, but there is zero chance that will happen.

G. Keenan wrote:Also, if she really feels like she's suffered some huge social insult she should tell this girl, rather than complain to me about it, but there is zero chance that will happen.

Heh. Yeah, well, we can only imagine what the world would be like if people were capable of communicating with each other.

Wedding girl should send a note saying she regrets being unable to invite her but she will make sure she's invited to her next wedding.

I sort of see roommate's point. I mean I'm ultra sensitve about this kind of stuff. If I'm having a get together and didn't invite everyone, I'm always worried about that person finding out, and I certainly wouldn't talk about the get-together in the presence of the people not invited. I realize a wedding is a bigger thing than a small party, but still. Seems common courtesy not to be blabbing on and on about your wedding plans in front of people you haven't invited. Then again, that's another thing about women (we are in the rants forum, right?)... The amount of time and energy they expend over the talking about, planning, obsessiong over, preparing for, and yes, subliminally bragging about their wedding ceremony boggles the mind.

So my rant has shifted away from your roommate and onto your friend. but at least it still targets a woman!