Rant: Flirting

[Cronos]

Cronos needs to go on The Pick-Up Artist and call himself Dagger.

How do you know I haven't already done so?

Well in the last picture of yourself you posted you didn't have a faux hawk soooo...

If I don't have a faux hawk, then I think I need one. Whatever it is.

[Bo Hart]

Finding advice on something like this is really hard, because different people are going to give you different (and conflicting) pieces of advice. I think, ultimately, the best thing to do is just to man up and assert yourself. Now, chances are, you'll reply to this with something like, "but that's the problem. Who I am is someone who is shy and unassertive. If I try and be aggressive, I'm going to be acting out of character. It's not something I can do." If you are tempted to say something like that, you are just making excuses and sponsoring a pity party for yourself.

I don't think anybody out there finds flirting or the pursuit of the opposite sex easy. I would guarantee that all of us get nervous when it comes time to approach someone we're interested in. Being confident does not necessarily mean being a cocky jerk, it just means having the audacity to open up and show someone who you are. Should you choose not to do this, you are going to come off as generic and will pale in comparison to the guy that is willing to take the risk of putting their pride on the line.

The key is to remember that it's much easier to go from a relationship to a friendship than it is the other way around (this is not say that you can't elevate a friendship into something more -- it's just tough to do); as such, it's imperative that you make your intentions clear from the start.

Cronos, you are clearly a guy with some self-esteem issues. The proper way to deal with that is not to continually lament in it, though -- that's only going to help propagate bouts of sadness in the future. I think that by making depressive post after depressive post, you're deluding yourself into believing you don't have anything to offer, and you're only helping cement your poor confidence (I'm blunt because I think there's the chance that this will serve as constructive criticism to you).

Being rejected by a girl sucks... but, speaking from personal experience, it's not nearly as painful as knowing you passed up a potentially great relationship because you acted like a coward.

[Magneto2.0]

Bottom line is the embarrassment of getting shutdown hurts, but it's not shameful. At least you tried. The embarrassment of being lonely at an old age because you're scared to make a move, is far more embarrassing and shameful.

[tothebeach08]

In the end, none of this will matter. The person you are meant to be with will come into your live and you will know it. In the meantime, if you think someone is flirting with you, they probably are and you should go along with it and if you don't know how to flirt back, at least know how to make the most of it.