You HAVE to talk to her. Tell her that it bothers you that he is over at your place when she is not home and suggest you don't like him having keys now that he doesn't "live" there anymore. As for the futon, did you buy the furniture for your place together? Or did you each bring in your own? And suggest if they want to make out or whatever, she has a bedroom for that and the living room is not an appropriate venue for it.G. Keenan wrote:This is really starting to depress me. I feel like a third wheel in my own house. This guy is here ALL the time.
First he couldn't move anything into the place he's subletting until his cousin could lend him his SUV. Then his cousin wasn't able to help him long enough to move his futon so he had to sleep here a few more nights. Turns out this futon was the futon from my freakin' guest room! It doesn't belong to me, but it is furniture in my apartment. I thought part of the bargain with a roommate was that you combined furniture. I didn't realize one roommate could just give some away when they feel like it without consulting the other first. I am after all paying for an apartment with a guest room, seeing as I thought I had a place for guests to sleep other than the couch. Guess not anymore. Perhaps I will just give the couch away without so much as a by your leave and see how she feels about that.
So now he's "moved" out but he's still here all the freakin' time. I guess he still has the set of keys she gave him. He stayed over last night and she was gone most of this afternoon. That didn't stop him from sitting on my couch all afternoon watching my tv, then taking a shower here, and now again sitting on my couch watching the Yankees/Sox game. He's a Red Sox fan.
At first I was angry about this but now I'm just sad. I don't know what to do about it. How am I supposed to ask her not to let him spend so much time here? It doesn't seem to even have occurred to her that it's a problem. I think she's very happy to finally have a real boyfriend after spending two years as the "other woman" to a complete d-bag and consequently she has just handed him the keys to the kindgdom, so to speak. I swear that at no point have I ever been asked if I have any thoughts on how much freakin' time they spend here. Maybe they don't think it's a problem because I always give them the run of the apartment, but I'm doing that because I don't like being around them when they're being all coupley, which is always.
Advice? I really wish I could just move out but I've got 4 and a half months left on the lease. I'm starting to think I should have a set of keys made, give them to a friend of mine, and then just encourage that friend to spend as much time as humanly possible here whether I'm here or not. Let's see if she finds that annoying.
if you don't make your feelings known, they will just fester and you will end up with a knock-down drag out fight and lose your friendship.
