Cats

[PujolJunkie]

My cat humps the [expletive] out of my bed, my girlfriend and anything else that gets in his way. He attacks my dumb ass cousin and his dad, as well as my sister's fiancee. He eats human food. Like what, you ask? His favorite food is pizza. You can't physically get him away when you're eating dinner. He's a psychopath. He makes a deep pitched "rowww"ing noise and walks around the house. Every once in a while he'll just go off barreling through the house, leaping up on things, freaking out, wide eyed and acting generally deranged. You can't pet him on the back and you can't even touch his stomach. You can pet his head for approximately 10 seconds before he swats, scratches and bites your hand and goes off the rocker. When I leave for work, he jumps up in the window and waits for me to come home and when I do, he tries to lick my face until he gets bored. He is one quirky, personality filled, loyal animal.

My dog, before he died, would jump up in my bed, lay down as close to me as he could and sleep. He would follow me from room to room, stopping if I stopped, sitting where I sat, eating what I ate. He would play with empty, plastic Folgers buckets, throw them in the air and catch them. He slept in the bath tub a lot. Whenever I left the house to do anything, you couldn't let him outside because he would run off in the last direction he smelled me go in, I guess. You could not only pet him, but lay on him, scratch him for hours, brush him or whatever for hours and he wouldn't move an inch. He never left my side from the moment I brought him home until the moment he died. If I took him for a walk, I probably didn't even need the leash because he just walked beside me no matter what. He was one loyal, trusting, loving friend.

I'm an animal person. I always have been. And I basically saved this 3 week old kitten from dying under a stairwell. And I'd be pretty upset for a while if anything ever happened to him. But when my dog died, I lost a big part of my life. A lot of people would say "It's just an animal/dog" but he was a lot more than that to me. Cats are great animals and I love mine. But my dog was much bigger than a great animal.

/serious post

[Transmogrified Tiger]

Just because some of you people spent years to train your cat to tolerate you does not mean they aren't selfish, purposeless monsters as a whole.

[JCShutout]

Just because some of you people spent years to train your cat to tolerate you does not mean they aren't selfish, purposeless monsters as a whole.

That describes my friend's scottish terrier. Damn little thing always running around barking if it doesn't get attention. It wants to jump on your lap and make you smell like dog just like it does, and if you show it even the slightest bit of attention, it will expect constant attention all night.

Or the little [expletive] dog my gf's aunt and uncle own. Tiny little thing that barks at everything and HAS to sleep in the bed with you (and it sleeps horizontally, taking up as much space as possible), and if you shut the door he will literally bark and whine all fraking night.

Keep your dogs.

[Swirls]

http://www.dogguide.net/25-hero-dogs.php
Suck it, JC.

Nice to see Oscar's breed representing at #15.

Can you train a cat like this?

/loves blue heelers

[/youtube]

[Jocephus]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/scie ... wners.html

[Fat_Bulldog]

My cat humps the [expletive] out of my bed, my girlfriend and anything else that gets in his way. He attacks my dumb ass cousin and his dad, as well as my sister's fiancee. He eats human food. Like what, you ask? His favorite food is pizza. You can't physically get him away when you're eating dinner. He's a psychopath. He makes a deep pitched "rowww"ing noise and walks around the house. Every once in a while he'll just go off barreling through the house, leaping up on things, freaking out, wide eyed and acting generally deranged. You can't pet him on the back and you can't even touch his stomach. You can pet his head for approximately 10 seconds before he swats, scratches and bites your hand and goes off the rocker. When I leave for work, he jumps up in the window and waits for me to come home and when I do, he tries to lick my face until he gets bored. He is one quirky, personality filled, loyal animal.

My dog, before he died, would jump up in my bed, lay down as close to me as he could and sleep. He would follow me from room to room, stopping if I stopped, sitting where I sat, eating what I ate. He would play with empty, plastic Folgers buckets, throw them in the air and catch them. He slept in the bath tub a lot. Whenever I left the house to do anything, you couldn't let him outside because he would run off in the last direction he smelled me go in, I guess. You could not only pet him, but lay on him, scratch him for hours, brush him or whatever for hours and he wouldn't move an inch. He never left my side from the moment I brought him home until the moment he died. If I took him for a walk, I probably didn't even need the leash because he just walked beside me no matter what. He was one loyal, trusting, loving friend.

I'm an animal person. I always have been. And I basically saved this 3 week old kitten from dying under a stairwell. And I'd be pretty upset for a while if anything ever happened to him. But when my dog died, I lost a big part of my life. A lot of people would say "It's just an animal/dog" but he was a lot more than that to me. Cats are great animals and I love mine. But my dog was much bigger than a great animal.

/serious post

I hate cats but enjoyed reading this.

[cards2468]

My cat humps the [expletive] out of my bed, my girlfriend and anything else that gets in his way. He attacks my dumb ass cousin and his dad, as well as my sister's fiancee. He eats human food. Like what, you ask? His favorite food is pizza. You can't physically get him away when you're eating dinner. He's a psychopath. He makes a deep pitched "rowww"ing noise and walks around the house. Every once in a while he'll just go off barreling through the house, leaping up on things, freaking out, wide eyed and acting generally deranged. You can't pet him on the back and you can't even touch his stomach. You can pet his head for approximately 10 seconds before he swats, scratches and bites your hand and goes off the rocker. When I leave for work, he jumps up in the window and waits for me to come home and when I do, he tries to lick my face until he gets bored. He is one quirky, personality filled, loyal animal.

My dog, before he died, would jump up in my bed, lay down as close to me as he could and sleep. He would follow me from room to room, stopping if I stopped, sitting where I sat, eating what I ate. He would play with empty, plastic Folgers buckets, throw them in the air and catch them. He slept in the bath tub a lot. Whenever I left the house to do anything, you couldn't let him outside because he would run off in the last direction he smelled me go in, I guess. You could not only pet him, but lay on him, scratch him for hours, brush him or whatever for hours and he wouldn't move an inch. He never left my side from the moment I brought him home until the moment he died. If I took him for a walk, I probably didn't even need the leash because he just walked beside me no matter what. He was one loyal, trusting, loving friend.

I'm an animal person. I always have been. And I basically saved this 3 week old kitten from dying under a stairwell. And I'd be pretty upset for a while if anything ever happened to him. But when my dog died, I lost a big part of my life. A lot of people would say "It's just an animal/dog" but he was a lot more than that to me. Cats are great animals and I love mine. But my dog was much bigger than a great animal.

/serious post

Great stories.

My current pup sounds a lot like yours. He lets me do whatever I want with him. I can pull food out of his mouth if I wanted. He used to be a little less obedient than that, but I've worked with him and it's almost like he understands the english language, but really he just understands tones and hand motions. If I hold my hand out, palm up, he sits. If I turn my hand over and motion down, he lays down. If I make a circular motion with my hand, he rolls over. He's definitely my best friend. He's only 3, but I know someday I'm going to be crushed when I lose him.

[sighyoung]

Just because some of you people spent years to train your cat to tolerate you does not mean they aren't selfish, purposeless monsters as a whole.

But powerless four-legged amorality with allergy-triggering dander is so lovable sometimes.

[cardsfansince82]

Let's not forget that Quaker Oats is made of cats. I'm not sure if that's a positive or negative.

[redbirdjazzz]

Let's not forget that Quaker Oats is made of cats. I'm not sure if that's a positive or negative.

Well, I know what I'm having for breakfast.