Random musings

[jim]

- He's a can short of a six-pack.

- That dog won't hunt

- Rooster in the hen house (I could probably fit this one in on that transgender talk we were having). I've heard my Dad say this about some well dress slicked up dude - he'll say "He's struttin' around like a rooster in the hen house".

- Like a fox guarding the hen house. (My Dad grew up on a farm where they raised chickens, LOTS of chicken expressions).

- Wish in one hand and [expletive] in the other. ... followed up sometimes by a "And see which one fills up first". Implication is that if you sit around and do nothing at all you won't have anything to show for it - i.e doing > wishing.

[JL21]

nuttier than squirrel turds

I love this one. I didn't hear it from my dad, but I've been using it ever since the first time I heard it.

The variation I've heard of this from my dad, though... "Crazier than a rat in a tin [expletive] house."

[Michael]

it's colder than a witches tit

[jim]

it's colder than a witches tit

That's a good one!

[JL21]

To describe trying to accomplish something that's very difficult, I've heard people say "Trying to hit an ant's ass with a BB gun."

[jim]

I just used happier than a twister in a trailer park in another thread, and also the lizard turd one (that was new to me but I like it). I haven't heard the ant's ass bb gun thing.

My Dad has so many I can't even come close to remembering them all. He uses them so often it's just a natural part of his speech. Why use one word when a ten words can say the same thing and get a chuckle is his philosophy of how to use the English language.

[wart57]

I have been busier than a 1 legged man in an ass kicking contest.

[lukethedrifter]

I feel like heyzeus should now be able to comfortably converse with his clients.

[AWvsCBsteeeerike3]

Built like a brick [expletive] house

You can [expletive] up a crowbar in a sandpIle

Ain't worth the paper he wipes his ass with

Wish in one hand, [expletive] in the other and see which fills up first is my favorite of all time. Probably use it 3 to 4 times a week

[AWvsCBsteeeerike3]

Sweating like a whore in church