World Cup/Soccer for Dummies and soccer silliness

[jim]

Maybe because the stuff that hits the news is what they make, but I've never seen it. And they line up so close that I don't see how it's possible to either miss or get it blocked. If hitting a baseball is the most difficult thing in sports, is converting a penalty kick the easiest?

[lukethedrifter]

Maybe because the stuff that hits the news is what they make, but I've never seen it. And they line up so close that I don't see how it's possible to either miss or get it blocked. If hitting a baseball is the most difficult thing in sports, is converting a penalty kick the easiest?

Conversely, you might say stopping a PK is the most difficult.

[jim]

Maybe because the stuff that hits the news is what they make, but I've never seen it. And they line up so close that I don't see how it's possible to either miss or get it blocked. If hitting a baseball is the most difficult thing in sports, is converting a penalty kick the easiest?

Conversely, you might say stopping a PK is the most difficult.

Good point.

How do you get a penalty kick? Is that like an orange card or something? Guy comes runnign up and whips both cards out of his pocket and stands up and holds them both over the guys head or something?

By far my favorite thing about soccer is the issuing of these colored cards. I just think it's hilarious how they do it. I found this site:

http://www.jmu.edu/recreation/Programs/ ... dcard.html

It says to be calm and controlled when giving a red card, now notice how they say that while the guy has a [expletive] whistle in his mouth. I dunno', you can be as calm and collected as you want but if you are holding a card over my head and blowing a whistle in my face...

If this guy came up to me:

[SHOW]

I'd [expletive] hit him. No question about it.

[MrSaigon]

Another question:

Has anyone ever, in the history of the sport, blocked a penalty kick? You line the ball up 12 feet from the goalie, get a running start, and you have to like your chances as long as you don't kick it at the guy.

I HATE it when the Final is determined by a PK shootout. I might rather see a player die in the 240th minute of overtime.

And while some were a bit put off by Lipp's criticism, it illustrates something. It would be great for American soccer (and the MLS, if you give a [expletive]) if sports fans who are flirting aren't turned off by the BS (which every sport has).

Also for Jim, Lipp, and anyone else who may be looking for another reason to dislike soccer, I submit the 1994 World Cup U.S. jersey:

That's so ugly you can't even wear it ironically.

[lukethedrifter]

I really enjoyed watching the games and will continue to do so throughout the WC. As a relative newbie to the sport and someone who grew up playing football and basketball, I want to scream when I see Clint Dempsey rolling around, grabbing his ankle 6 times a match.

[slide_into_first]

I really enjoyed watching the games and will continue to do so throughout the WC. As a relative newbie to the sport and someone who grew up playing football and basketball, I want to scream when I see Clint Dempsey rolling around, grabbing his ankle 6 times a match.

.. yet few complain when baseball players bench themselves for a hangnail.

[MrSaigon]

I really enjoyed watching the games and will continue to do so throughout the WC. As a relative newbie to the sport and someone who grew up playing football and basketball, I want to scream when I see Clint Dempsey rolling around, grabbing his ankle 6 times a match.

If anyone never wanted to watch soccer again because of the lengthy excruciating theatrics of fake pain, I wouldn't blame them at all.

Dempsey's theatrics are kind of stylish, though. While most players writhe in fake pain, he goes with the sack of potatoes look.

[Tambourine Man]

Another question:

Has anyone ever, in the history of the sport, blocked a penalty kick? You line the ball up 12 feet from the goalie, get a running start, and you have to like your chances as long as you don't kick it at the guy.

I HATE it when the Final is determined by a PK shootout. I might rather see a player die in the 240th minute of overtime.

And while some were a bit put off by Lipp's criticism, it illustrates something. It would be great for American soccer (and the MLS, if you give a [expletive]) if sports fans who are flirting aren't turned off by the BS (which every sport has).

Count me as turned off by PK's deciding a game.

Jim asked about PK's earlier and I'd equate it to a short putt in golf or a chip shot field goal. It's pretty easy but your head can really [expletive] with you. I've missed one.

[Transmogrified Tiger]

Several years ago, USA Today did a series on the 10 hardest things to do in sports. Stopping a PK was like #9. I think hitting a 400 foot home run was #1 or 2.

EDIT: Here's the list.

10. Skiing downhill at 80-90 mph
9. Stopping a soccer penalty kick
8. Riding in the Tour de France
7. Running a marathon
6. Landing a quad in figure skating
5. Returning a 130 mph tennis serve
4. Hitting a golf ball long and straight
3. Pole vaulting at heights of 15-feet plus
2. Driving a race car at megaspeeds around a track and not getting hurt
1. Hitting a baseball thrown at 90+ mph

[MrSaigon]

Several years ago, USA Today did a series on the 10 hardest things to do in sports. Stopping a PK was like #9. I think hitting a 400 foot home run was #1 or 2.

EDIT: Here's the list.

10. Skiing downhill at 80-90 mph
9. Stopping a soccer penalty kick
8. Riding in the Tour de France
7. Running a marathon
6. Landing a quad in figure skating
5. Returning a 130 mph tennis serve
4. Hitting a golf ball long and straight
3. Pole vaulting at heights of 15-feet plus
2. Driving a race car at megaspeeds around a track and not getting hurt
1. Hitting a baseball thrown at 90+ mph

It needs to move up the list, I'd say. And it hardly has anything to do with level of difficulty anyway. I would guess stopping a PK is at least in the neighborhood of pure luck.