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I've gone through periods like this as well. Most recently just a couple of years ago when I lost both of my parents within an 18 month span. I am lucky to have such a caring and understanding wife because I was wreckless and irresponsible in my behavior. That's how I asked for help. She helped me.

You genuinely seem like a good person who cares about doing the right thing and taking care of people who are important in your life. Keep thinking positive and doing things that make you feel good. Keep surrounding yourself with good people and communicate with them. It gets better. Talk about it as much as you can with people who care about you. And seek counseling.

I think there's some good advice in this thread so far.

FWIW, I think it's fairly common to go through periods of anxiety or mid-life crises. I definitely don't mean to minimize this by saying that because I think the way through it is likely pretty unique for each individual. My wife and I have been going through some parallel mid-life crises that ebb and flow, but sometimes we're both awake and working at 3 in the morning because neither of us can sleep due to anxiety attacks. similar things are bothering us (career, parenting, second guessing decisions), but I think the best we can do for each other is to support each other as needed because things that help me are not the same things that help her. I think the advice to seek a counselor is a good one because I think there are few (probably none) universal things that help one get through them, and finding a path through is unique for each person.

Michael wrote:Sometimes I feel like I'm going through the motions and I should be living a better life.

I feel like this sometimes, but I never feel the anxiety and depression that some people my age seem to be experiencing and I feel lucky about that.

My old college buddy was going to fly in from AZ last weekend. His wife gave him a "hall pass" to come back to town and cut loose. He texted me about 10 days before he was coming in and asked if I like Xanax. I said, yeah it serves it's purpose. He said he was going to bring some because he has been dealing with anxiety and depression and we would talk about it when he gets here. Two days before he was to make the trip he texted me that the thought of getting on a plane was making him physically ill, and he didn't think he could make the trip. He told me that it is hard to understand if you've never gone through it, and I'm sure it is. He was so apologetic and worried that he let me down. Of course I tried to assure him that it was no big deal, and that he needs to focus on getting better and that we would get together another time. I hope he believed me.

I guess my point is - you're never alone when you have some of these thoughts, Dreamer. There are people out there who can help.

Thanks guys, it's hard to talk with my friends about this stuff. I don't know why.


As I said another time on this forum small towns don't make for great counselors. I'm really lery to go to one here. I know they talk outside of work.

My gf is great and a week or two ago she spotted something wrong. She comes and sits on my lap, runs her fingers through my hair playfully and just said "what's up?" We talked about it a little bit and she was great about it. I am always hesitant to talk to her about things too though, which is silly because again she's great, but she has been through so much garbage and came out strong. Although I guess that's all the more reason to talk to her. She's been through worse so this should be easy for her.

Anyway thanks guys, I feel weak for posting this stuff. My life is good, it's just something upstairs is a miss.

IMADreamer wrote: As I said another time on this forum small towns don't make for great counselors. I'm really lery to go to one here. I know they talk outside of work.

Damn, that's rough. I've heard semi-positive things about tele-counseling. Maybe something to look into if things don't improve.

And of course you aren't weak. You're human.

You wear your emotions dreamer, that is nothing to be ashamed of.

Now stop crying and get back to enjoying life!

Am I allowed to joke with you?

IMADreamer wrote:Thanks guys, it's hard to talk with my friends about this stuff. I don't know why.

I get that. I've recently tried talking about some stuff with a friend because I didn't want to get into details of it with my wife and because I wanted to increase the number of people with whom I lean on (mostly just my wife) - and because I wanted a new perspective. the conversation didn't go the way I had hoped. I'd try it again, but it was more difficult than I imagined it would be. also think i would approach it differently, too.

IMADreamer wrote:
Anyway thanks guys, I feel weak for posting this stuff. My life is good, it's just something upstairs is a miss.

I see it differently. I think it takes strength to be honest and open about your feelings and what you're experiencing. I think it's true for both men and women in different ways, that we are taught to keep it all inside, suffer in silence, and then years later, act surprised when people act out on their pain in destructive ways.

If this board can serve as a place where it's ok to talk about your experience, then I think that may be one of the best things it is capable of doing.

wart57 wrote:You wear your emotions dreamer, that is nothing to be ashamed of.

Now stop crying and get back to enjoying life!

Am I allowed to joke with you?

Yes always.

Gashouse wrote:

IMADreamer wrote:Thanks guys, it's hard to talk with my friends about this stuff. I don't know why.

I get that. I've recently tried talking about some stuff with a friend because I didn't want to get into details of it with my wife and because I wanted to increase the number of people with whom I lean on (mostly just my wife) - and because I wanted a new perspective. the conversation didn't go the way I had hoped. I'd try it again, but it was more difficult than I imagined it would be. also think i would approach it differently, too.

I understand where you're coming from. I would love to have the sort of friend I could talk to anything about.