Family

[heyzeus]

Family is interesting. There's often too much exposure to family (see above for good examples), but the other extreme, not enough. Maybe there's a happy medium somewhere.

My dad hasn't seen my son, who is all of 20 months old, for almost 7 months now - since we went up to see him. My mom has come down to see us more than once, but he didn't feel like joining her, I guess. He's retired. He does whatever he wants. He just isn't interested, I guess. And yet he blew up at me, told me to piss off, when he found out that I had posted a picture of my son on facebook without also emailing the picture to him separately. ("You know I don't have Facebook! I guess the whole world gets to see him, but not his grampa!")

[KyCardinalFan]

what should he do? divorce her? get less time with his kids? what is the right thing to do?

his kids babysitters have never met his wife.
his kids teachers have never met his wife.

she has never driven her kids to any kind of school or day care.

Yes, he should divorce her. Doesn't happen often but if can afford a cut throat lawyer and prove he is the more responsible of the two of them, he could get sole custody of his children.

This was going to be my advice. If your brother can document irrefutable evidence to his wife's lack of child-rearing effort (letters from teachers, babysitters on her non-interest and non-activity) and hire a great lawyer, I would think your brother could cut her from his life.

It seems the less she gets financially from him, the less she'll be in the kids' lives. My concern would be that she would fight for the kids just to get the child support. If he can prove she can earn more than he, not only may he avoid alimony/support, he may collect!

[Arthur Dent]

Family is interesting. There's often too much exposure to family (see above for good examples), but the other extreme, not enough. Maybe there's a happy medium somewhere.

My dad hasn't seen my son, who is all of 20 months old, for almost 7 months now - since we went up to see him. My mom has come down to see us more than once, but he didn't feel like joining her, I guess. He's retired. He does whatever he wants. He just isn't interested, I guess. And yet he blew up at me, told me to piss off, when he found out that I had posted a picture of my son on facebook without also emailing the picture to him separately. ("You know I don't have Facebook! I guess the whole world gets to see him, but not his grampa!")

I thought your dad was always posting offensive BS on facebook. Did you get him to resign?

[heyzeus]

Family is interesting. There's often too much exposure to family (see above for good examples), but the other extreme, not enough. Maybe there's a happy medium somewhere.

My dad hasn't seen my son, who is all of 20 months old, for almost 7 months now - since we went up to see him. My mom has come down to see us more than once, but he didn't feel like joining her, I guess. He's retired. He does whatever he wants. He just isn't interested, I guess. And yet he blew up at me, told me to piss off, when he found out that I had posted a picture of my son on facebook without also emailing the picture to him separately. ("You know I don't have Facebook! I guess the whole world gets to see him, but not his grampa!")

I thought your dad was always posting offensive BS on facebook. Did you get him to resign?

He quit facebook for almost a year after he became convinced that it had given his computer a virus. Nobody tried to disabuse him of this notion. Several months ago he rejoined, and is back to posting 15 links a day to images of Obama eating watermelon and stories from Glen Beck's "newspaper" about how Muslims are converting the U.S. to shariah law.

[AWvsCBsteeeerike3]

Family is interesting. There's often too much exposure to family (see above for good examples), but the other extreme, not enough. Maybe there's a happy medium somewhere.

My dad hasn't seen my son, who is all of 20 months old, for almost 7 months now - since we went up to see him. My mom has come down to see us more than once, but he didn't feel like joining her, I guess. He's retired. He does whatever he wants. He just isn't interested, I guess. And yet he blew up at me, told me to piss off, when he found out that I had posted a picture of my son on facebook without also emailing the picture to him separately. ("You know I don't have Facebook! I guess the whole world gets to see him, but not his grampa!")

I thought your dad was always posting offensive BS on facebook. Did you get him to resign?

He quit facebook for almost a year after he became convinced that it had given his computer a virus. Nobody tried to disabuse him of this notion. Several months ago he rejoined, and is back to posting 15 links a day to images of Obama eating watermelon and stories from Glen Beck's "newspaper" about how Muslims are converting the U.S. to shariah law.

There's really nothing sadder than seeing people you once respected, in both cases our fathers, become either senile or worse willingly delusional.

I went home a couple weeks ago to see the fam and catch a cardinals game. He asked me how the stock market was going and all that and I said pretty well. Told him about some companies I liked/didn't and a few trades that had gone well/poorly. He took one little piece of info on how I didn't like Scottrade a little bit to go off on the whole MF Global thing and how people should be hunting down people who stole from them*. And that turned into a the only real place to invest is guns.

I mean. He's a smart guy. Has always been his own boss, done what he wanted, had his own company, but gosh damn. I feel like lately he's just over the top with this [expletive].

*I actually kind of agree with that part. It really is a travesty. But, that doesn't mean his next conclusion, that guns are the only safe investment, is anywhere near correct. Sheesh.

[IMADreamer]

I'm at the point where I wish my Dad would show passion in anything. I understand he doesn't feel well, but quite frankly since my Grandma and Grandpa died last year (his in laws, but they were very close) he just doesn't have interest in any thing. I've watched over the course of a year or so the life get sucked out of my Dad. It's really sad.

As for Doc's situation, sounds like divorce or murder for hire are your only choices. I know a guy if you are interested. For the divorce that is.

[planet planet]

Family is interesting. There's often too much exposure to family (see above for good examples), but the other extreme, not enough. Maybe there's a happy medium somewhere.

My dad hasn't seen my son, who is all of 20 months old, for almost 7 months now - since we went up to see him. My mom has come down to see us more than once, but he didn't feel like joining her, I guess. He's retired. He does whatever he wants. He just isn't interested, I guess. And yet he blew up at me, told me to piss off, when he found out that I had posted a picture of my son on facebook without also emailing the picture to him separately. ("You know I don't have Facebook! I guess the whole world gets to see him, but not his grampa!")

I can relate regarding visits with dad. I can imagine it would be particularly hurtful with a baby/toddler. Ever since mom died and dad remarried, he just doesn't call as much and I probably see him 3 to 4 times a year as he lives in FL (he comes to my house once a year - next week). Somehow I think it has something to do with being a man and not doing much of the social planning, nor thinking about it that much. Mom was very vigilant about visits, calls, etc.

[Spider John]

Doc, has this woman been to a professional about her mental issues?

[docellis]

Yeah, she has been institutionalized several times, has eating disorders...

The gamble is if they divorced, she would move several states away. If he lost custody, he'd never seem the kids and he is their primary care giver.

[lukethedrifter]

Yeah, she has been institutionalized several times, has eating disorders...

The gamble is if they divorced, she would move several states away. If he lost custody, he'd never seem the kids and he is their primary care giver.

He'd either have to have the world's worst lawyer or must be a mess himself for that to be a real concern.



Document, document, document.