"Amish Built Electric Fireplace"

[Leroy]

You guys are harsh. There's many a cold, cold winter's night up here that I dream of sitting in my snuggle blanket in my ez chair, with my favorite slippers on resting on the soft footstool, a cup of hot chocolate in my one hand, the collective works of Douglas Adams in the other, and gazing down at the beautifully handcrafted frame surrounding a fake fireplace.

[Leroy]

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
I've churned butter once or twice
Living in an Amish paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell
But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree, I really look good in black...fool
If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Caruso
It's as primitive as can be

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're just plain and simple guys
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no time for sin and vice
Living in an Amish paradise
We don't fight, we all play nice
Living in an Amish paradise

Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise anoder
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art
I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
We're all crazy Mennonites
Living in an Amish paradise
There's no cops or traffic lights
Living in an Amish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites
Living in an Amish paradise

[Radbird]

You guys are harsh. There's many a cold, cold winter's night up here that I dream of sitting in my snuggle blanket in my ez chair, with my favorite slippers on resting on the soft footstool, a cup of hot chocolate in my one hand, the collective works of Douglas Adams in the other, and gazing down at the beautifully handcrafted frame surrounding a fake fireplace.

With a little John Tesh playing softly in the background?

[Leroy]

You guys are harsh. There's many a cold, cold winter's night up here that I dream of sitting in my snuggle blanket in my ez chair, with my favorite slippers on resting on the soft footstool, a cup of hot chocolate in my one hand, the collective works of Douglas Adams in the other, and gazing down at the beautifully handcrafted frame surrounding a fake fireplace.

With a little John Tesh playing softly in the background?

Kenny G.

[BenNX74205]

You guys are harsh. There's many a cold, cold winter's night up here that I dream of sitting in my snuggle blanket in my ez chair, with my favorite slippers on resting on the soft footstool, a cup of hot chocolate in my one hand, the collective works of Douglas Adams in the other, and gazing down at the beautifully handcrafted frame surrounding a fake fireplace.

With a little John Tesh playing softly in the background?

You have besmirched the honor of John Tesh. Get ready to feel the pain........stick.

[Freed Roger]

some Amish (not all) have a tradition called Rumspringa where they let their teens run wild in the regular world.

Saw this program http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/s ... s/05358_00 on Natl Geographic about it. lots of meth and trailer park partying going on.



The majority return back to the fold after this period, -back to making nice mantles to go on fake fireplaces.

[Leroy]

Freed, your obsession with Amish chicks is disturbing.

[Freed Roger]

busted. must blame the movie "Witness" from my formative years.

[Hungary Jack]

You guys are harsh. There's many a cold, cold winter's night up here that I dream of sitting in my snuggle blanket in my ez chair, with my favorite slippers on resting on the soft footstool, a cup of hot chocolate in my one hand, the collective works of Douglas Adams in the other, and gazing down at the beautifully handcrafted frame surrounding a fake fireplace.

[sighyoung]

You guys are harsh. There's many a cold, cold winter's night up here that I dream of sitting in my snuggle blanket in my ez chair, with my favorite slippers on resting on the soft footstool, a cup of hot chocolate in my one hand, the collective works of Douglas Adams in the other, and gazing down at the beautifully handcrafted frame surrounding a fake fireplace.

Surely you can exercise in your slanket, too.