Introversion

[G. Keenan]

I got INFJ. I think the description matches me pretty well.

INFJs are teh awesome.

Yes, we are.

[Sutter'sBeard]

I thought I was an introvert. As it turns out, I'm just boring.

Wierd, was going to write the exact same line. Most of the time, it's not about me being anti-social in social situations, it's about me really having nothing worth saying.

[jim]

I thought I was an introvert. As it turns out, I'm just boring.

Wierd, was going to write the exact same line. Most of the time, it's not about me being anti-social in social situations, it's about me really having nothing worth saying.

What's the deal with people that have nothing to say but out of nervousness say something anyway? They usually say something really dumb, and make a perfectly tolerable situation (silence) completely uncomfortable.

Hats off to anyone that doesn't feel compelled to speak when they really don't have anything to say.

[Popeye_Card]

I thought I was an introvert. As it turns out, I'm just boring.

Wierd, was going to write the exact same line. Most of the time, it's not about me being anti-social in social situations, it's about me really having nothing worth saying.

What's the deal with people that have nothing to say but out of nervousness say something anyway? They usually say something really dumb, and make a perfectly tolerable situation (silence) completely uncomfortable.

Hats off to anyone that doesn't feel compelled to speak when they really don't have anything to say.

Case in point. Years ago, I was at a coffee shop with my gf (at the time) and her parents, and they started talking about all these people from their home town. Well I had no idea who Fred Johnson was and not really that interested that his kid is going to Middlebury Elementary now, so I grabbed a book off the shelf that piqued my interest, and started thumbing through it. I got yelled at later because I wasn't being social, and being rude to her parents.

Is it really that rude to look at something else if you're not actively involved in a conversation? Personally, I was bored out of my mind by their conversation. I could have considered it rude of them to not include me in their conversation topic so that I could chat along, but I didn't really care. I could have started a side conversation with her dad or something, but that would be rude to remove him from the main conversation.

Besides, like I said, I hate small talk. To chat about the weather, etc. is extremely dull to me. I hate meeting new people because of this.

[Richie Allen]

Case in point. Years ago, I was at a coffee shop with my gf (at the time) and her parents, and they started talking about all these people from their home town. Well I had no idea who Fred Johnson was and not really that interested that his kid is going to Middlebury Elementary now, so I grabbed a book off the shelf that piqued my interest, and started thumbing through it. I got yelled at later because I wasn't being social, and being rude to her parents.

Is it really that rude to look at something else if you're not actively involved in a conversation? Personally, I was bored out of my mind by their conversation. I could have considered it rude of them to not include me in their conversation topic so that I could chat along, but I didn't really care. I could have started a side conversation with her dad or something, but that would be rude to remove him from the main conversation.

Besides, like I said, I hate small talk. To chat about the weather, etc. is extremely dull to me. I hate meeting new people because of this.

I consider that rude.

The best way to engage someone is to act interested in what they're saying. In fact, as odd as it sounds, the best way to come off as interesting to someone else is to get them talking about themselves.

People that hate small talk often hate it because they rarely feel like they have anything to say. So rather than being disinterested in the conversation and having nothing to say, act like you're interested and ask questions to keep them talking. If nothing else, you'll make a good impression on them.

[Arthur Dent]

I get INTP. While the description seems a decent fit, I wonder how much of that is the horoscope effect. I'm not sure I really believe in these tests.

I found the following from INTP description interesting:

Individualistic, having no interest in leading or following others.

I do have no interest in leading or following others, but I don't consdier myself an individualist.

[jim]

Case in point. Years ago, I was at a coffee shop with my gf (at the time) and her parents, and they started talking about all these people from their home town. Well I had no idea who Fred Johnson was and not really that interested that his kid is going to Middlebury Elementary now, so I grabbed a book off the shelf that piqued my interest, and started thumbing through it. I got yelled at later because I wasn't being social, and being rude to her parents.

Is it really that rude to look at something else if you're not actively involved in a conversation? Personally, I was bored out of my mind by their conversation. I could have considered it rude of them to not include me in their conversation topic so that I could chat along, but I didn't really care. I could have started a side conversation with her dad or something, but that would be rude to remove him from the main conversation.

Besides, like I said, I hate small talk. To chat about the weather, etc. is extremely dull to me. I hate meeting new people because of this.

I consider that rude.

The best way to engage someone is to act interested in what they're saying. In fact, as odd as it sounds, the best way to come off as interesting to someone else is to get them talking about themselves.

People that hate small talk often hate it because they rarely feel like they have anything to say. So rather than being disinterested in the conversation and having nothing to say, act like you're interested and ask questions to keep them talking. If nothing else, you'll make a good impression on them.

I have to agree. That wasn't what I was talking about popeye - I'm talking about being stuck in a room/elevator/eating lunch next to a stranger whatever where they feel the need to break the silence when the silence is fine.

If your g/f's parents are talking about little Norman going to Lincoln Elementary you just unfortuntaely have to smile and shake your head like you care.


I just took that test and am an INTJ apparently. Very interesting that the first career choice it picked for me was exactly the career I am in.

[G. Keenan]

Case in point. Years ago, I was at a coffee shop with my gf (at the time) and her parents, and they started talking about all these people from their home town. Well I had no idea who Fred Johnson was and not really that interested that his kid is going to Middlebury Elementary now, so I grabbed a book off the shelf that piqued my interest, and started thumbing through it. I got yelled at later because I wasn't being social, and being rude to her parents.

Is it really that rude to look at something else if you're not actively involved in a conversation? Personally, I was bored out of my mind by their conversation. I could have considered it rude of them to not include me in their conversation topic so that I could chat along, but I didn't really care. I could have started a side conversation with her dad or something, but that would be rude to remove him from the main conversation.

Besides, like I said, I hate small talk. To chat about the weather, etc. is extremely dull to me. I hate meeting new people because of this.

I consider that rude.

The best way to engage someone is to act interested in what they're saying. In fact, as odd as it sounds, the best way to come off as interesting to someone else is to get them talking about themselves.

People that hate small talk often hate it because they rarely feel like they have anything to say. So rather than being disinterested in the conversation and having nothing to say, act like you're interested and ask questions to keep them talking. If nothing else, you'll make a good impression on them.

I have to agree. That wasn't what I was talking about popeye - I'm talking about being stuck in a room/elevator/eating lunch next to a stranger whatever where they feel the need to break the silence when the silence is fine.

If your g/f's parents are talking about little Norman going to Lincoln Elementary you just unfortuntaely have to smile and shake your head like you care.


I just took that test and am an INTJ apparently. Very interesting that the first career choice it picked for me was exactly the career I am in.

Gotta agree with Richie and Jim. That is quite rude.

Nobody likes small talk but you have to have some way to break the ice. You can't be like:

Hey, good to meet you.
Yeah, you too.
So, pretty good game last night, huh?
Have you ever had an abortion?

Small talk is a necessary evil sometimes.

[Arthur Dent]

Nobody likes small talk but you have to have some way to break the ice. You can't be like:

Hey, good to meet you.
Yeah, you too.
So, pretty good game last night, huh?
Have you ever had an abortion?

Small talk is a necessary evil sometimes.

How about "How many virgins?"

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/Radio_E ... pisode=231

231: Time to Save the World

Act One. The Rundown.

The story of one girl's mission to bring people together everywhere by eliminating small talk forever. This American Life producer Starlee Kine has been going around lecturing audiences on the subject. She encourages them to switch to a new system she's invented, called The Rundown. Recorded at The Little Gray Book Lectures at the Galapagos Art Space in New York City. Thanks to Sheila Heti and the Trampoline Hall Lecture Series. (6 minutes)

[G. Keenan]

Nobody likes small talk but you have to have some way to break the ice. You can't be like:

Hey, good to meet you.
Yeah, you too.
So, pretty good game last night, huh?
Have you ever had an abortion?

Small talk is a necessary evil sometimes.

How about "How many virgins?"

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/Radio_E ... pisode=231

231: Time to Save the World

Act One. The Rundown.

The story of one girl's mission to bring people together everywhere by eliminating small talk forever. This American Life producer Starlee Kine has been going around lecturing audiences on the subject. She encourages them to switch to a new system she's invented, called The Rundown. Recorded at The Little Gray Book Lectures at the Galapagos Art Space in New York City. Thanks to Sheila Heti and the Trampoline Hall Lecture Series. (6 minutes)

My doctor's note from thrill is way better than the guy in the introduction's.

God do I love this program.

Right off the bat though I see what the missed connection guy's problem was. He doesn't find his own interests interesting. How can you get someone else intrigued if you aren't even interesting to yourself?

edit: Finished listening to the rundown bit. It's good comedy but even that kind of conversation would get formulaic after not very long. You'd come off as the person who tries to be cool by asking quirky questions. And sometimes small talk is necessary because you just aren't interested in a person and can't be bothered.