Happy b-day, docellis and Fat Bulldog!

[heyzeus]

Thanks to all for the good wishes.

It was an eventful weekend to say the least. I am just now starting to recover.

We, your semiofficial internet acquaintances, don't ask for much from you. You don't have to buy us stuff on our birthdays or console us when we're down. All we ask for is stories. Wonderful, tawdry vicarious stories. You're now obligated to tell these stories. Go.

[sighyoung]

Picture taken of Fat Bulldog's backyard Sunday night:

[Fat_Bulldog]

Events from weekend/Saturday:

Friday evening I went to the Cardinal game, put 3 pork shoulders on the smoker before the game. Came home, stoked the fire, sprayed the pork with apple cider, went to bed. Woke up every 4 hours to add wood/charcoal and apple cider.

Saturday, finished cooking the pork around 11:00am(about 18 hours or so) and cooked some chicken and smoked sausage. Friend shows up with some Warsteiner Dunkel and we drink about 5 each for a couple of hours. People start showing up at my house. We have dinner, go pick up my drunk uncle and before I know it, people are shotgunning beers by biting the cans open with their teeth, here's where the madness begins. Tequila, wine, beer awfulness.

- This is where it gets fuzzy.
- I can drink a good case of beer without getting sick, unfortunately, people kept feeding me tequila and wine mixed with the beer.
- I somehow had a thought process that it was a good idea to use the toilet in my basement that is not working.
- People start looking for me and realize where I'm at, they turn on the light in the toilet area in the basement and begin to sing happy birthday to me while on the toilet
- I finally make it back upstairs where my wife sees I'm going to vomit so she gets a trash can and leans me up against the wall to puke while my sister is wiping my mouth
- I make it to the bedroom (it's about 6:30pm and people are partying and having a good time)
- Friends decide to come in my bedroom, spank me for my birthday and sing happy birthday to me
- Now I'm passed out and don't wake up until 2:00am when I realize what happened - had a couple of crashers at the house, 1 of which got up with me at 2 and ate cake and ice cream with me and filled me in on the rest of the shenanigans that occured while I was impressing everyone and passing out

Things that happened when I was out:
- More beer cans with teeth marks
- People started betting on "washers"
- Guy didn't pay his debt so a couple friends threatened to chain him in the basement and have their way with him as payment
- They give him an alternative to drink as follows below
- 1 guy bonged a half bottle of merlot on a bet and another half bottle of Seagram's 7
- Same guy throws up, they hand him some more whiskey and he drinks it, then he face planted in my garage, and threatened to stab people at the party. He says he's going to leave so a couple of other guys start blocking him as he's on his way to his car. They hide his keys and take him to the basement to sleep. He ended up pusing the sofa against the stairs so he could be on "lookout." - This guy is a super nice guy but a little messed up from being in Iraq for several years.

I woke up hungry and come to find out that after 30lbs. of pulled pork, 20 chicken legs and 6 pounds of smoked sausage that all is left is hotdogs. We even had 2 nacho machines that were empty. I had a hotdog and went back to bed.

My nephew is now calling me "Uncle Drunk."

[cardinalkarp]

Friday evening I went to the Cardinal game, put 3 pork shoulders on the smoker before the game. Came home, stoked the fire, sprayed the pork with apple cider, went to bed. Woke up every 4 hours to add wood/charcoal and apple cider.

Saturday, finished cooking the pork around 11:00am(about 18 hours or so) and cooked some chicken and smoked sausage.

That sounds amazing. Pork shoulders smoked for 18 hours..once again, amazing.

[heyzeus]

This story satisfies me. It could probably use more boobs, though.

[clement]

A merry belated birthday to the happy couple!

[CardsofSTL]

Birthday bumps

@Fat_Bulldog

@docellis

[Fat_Bulldog]

Thanks!

[TGantz]

Uncle drunk story was awesome. But I agree with 2008 Zeus. I noticed the lack of boobs in the story.

[Joe Shlabotnik]

How is doc? Anyone know?